Posted on 05/17/2002 5:57:41 PM PDT by What Is Ain't
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - At the end of his opening monologue on Friday's "Politically Incorrect," host Bill Maher says "We'll be on for another six weeks."
Just in case, though, he got some things off his chest Friday (May 17), blistering as many sacrosanct beliefs as he could in a manifesto that also served as an explanation for why the show has been cancelled and a broadside directed at his network bosses.
Maher says that since the word of "Politically Incorrect's" cancellation came earlier this week, a number of people have asked why ABC is letting him go.
"Folks, let me sum it up for you: I think religion is bad and drugs are good," Maher says. "I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting."
"Politically Incorrect," which moved to ABC from Comedy Central in 1997, will ultimately be replaced by a talk show to be hosted by "The Man Show's" Jimmy Kimmel. Until Kimmel's show debuts in January, "Nightline" will expand to fill the midnight-12:30 spot now held by "PI."
The demise of "Politically Incorrect" can probably be traced to comments Maher made in one of his first shows after Sept. 11. He took issue with President Bush labeling the hijackers' suicide attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon as "cowardly acts."
"We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away," Maher said. "That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building -- say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."
His comments caused several advertisers to pull their sponsorship, and he issued an apology several days later, saying he was directing his comments toward politicians, not soldiers.
"Politically Incorrect" airs at midnight ET. Here's the full text of Maher's monologue from Friday:
"Before we begin the discussion tonight, I would just like to take a moment at the top of the show to say to everyone who's contacted me in the last few days, people I know and people I'd never met but feel like I know -- thank you -- for your kindnesses, your support, and in one case, a hooker, but I sent her back because one, I don't use hookers, and two, it turned out we were both with the same agency. But it's the thought that counts, and on that note, I'd also like to thank ABC for the tote bag.
" One comment I've heard repeatedly in the last few days in, ah, bars and public libraries -- OK, not public libraries -- but in bars, where you get some honesty because drunks are honest, is: Now that you're free, why don't you run for office? Which, coming from television, I can't figure out if they mean that as a step up for me - or more like, 'Hey, man, you can always be a congressman.'
"Anyway, the comment makes me laugh because I truly believe of all the people in the whole country who could not win an election, I am very near the top of the list. Somewhere between Father Geoghan and Al Gore. And the reason is, I have at one time or another, insulted everybody - and I'm proud of that. Politically incorrect means not political, not like a politician, and to give you an idea how unlike a politician I am, I don't even have a wife to cheat on.
" So when people say, why don't you run for office? Or, why'd you get fired? Folks, let me sum it up for you: I think religion is bad and drugs are good. I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
"I think stereotypes are true, abstinence is a perversion, Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's and there's nothing sexy about being old or pregnant.
" I think September 11th changed nothing, and if I had known the onset of war would add 100 points to George Bush's IQ, I would have started one.
"I think pornography stops rape, AIDS ribbons are stupid, and flag burning makes me feel patriotic.
" I think death is not the worst thing that can happen to you, people have too much self-esteem, and being drunk is funny. I think children are not innocent, God doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a Republican.
"I'm for Mad Cow disease and against suing tobacco companies.
" I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.
"We'll be on for another six weeks."
I guess you can pat yourself on the back for that brilliance while your looking for another job.
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
Again, few things make me more upset than hearing Maher describe himself as "libertarian," because he's no libertarian, but he did manage to at least BRING UP some issues that are otherwise sacrosanct on the three networks.
I don't imagine Jimmy Kimmel offering any sort of political discourse on his show -- at least not anything that might be considered 'politically incorrect' at the least. Who knows? I just think Maher, as bad as he could be, was still better than a void.
Way to quit your job in a big way, Bill!! Network bosses have friends in other networks, so every word further torpedoes your chances at another show. No problem, we don't want to see you back anyway. Think your fame and fans will bring you another Hollywood job, no matter what? Alec Baldwin thought so, too.
Either that or FOX will hire him. :-)
Well said. I was going to leave it at "What an idiot!".
So, he is off the air. The market has spoken. His product simply did not sell. If it did he would not have been handed his hat.
Maher turned out to be too self-absorbed and he forgot that he was in show business. Watching some guy mentally masturbate with himself just was not very interesting.
His parting comments show what a little pu$$y he was/is. For someone like Maher losing his big TV job and power is like dropping his pants in front of the hooker he mentions above and having her take one look and die laughing. While he was on TV the little holes he so enjoyed never laughed. Now he is off TV. I hope the laughter at the real little Bill continues for a long time.
No doubt. I still can't believe that Fox hired Whorealdo. Might as well hire Janet "The Torch" Reno to be the weather girl.
Could it be because if someone else said it, the guys in the white coats would be after them?
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