Posted on 05/21/2002 7:08:32 AM PDT by lowbridge
Relax, parents. Nude slumber parties full of 15-year-old girls are not "all the rage these days," as seen in the Ann Landers column of May 16.
Nor were they when the letter first appeared in print in 1995.
Landers is the latest of several prominent advisers to receive -- and answer -- the letter from a "Baffled Mom in Burlingame," troubled that her daughter wanted to attend one of the parties.
Dear Abby received a very similar letter three weeks ago and didn't bite.
"I think it's a hoot. I dismissed it as a young boy's prepubescent fantasy," said Jeanne Phillips, who writes under the pseudonym Abigail Van Buren for the column founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. "If this is a trend, I certainly haven't seen an avalanche of mail about it."
A nearly identical letter, signed "P.M., Burlingame, Calif.," appeared in the Ebony Advisor column of Ebony magazine in September 1995. (``Oh, I don't think we'd want to make any comment on that," a spokeswoman for Ebony said with a laugh.)
Phillips' mother, the original Dear Abby, received and published the letter from "Perplexed Mom in California" in April 1996. Her answer: "Tell her that you were not raised in an atmosphere that condoned casual nudity and you are uncomfortable with the idea of her attending nude slumber parties. Period."
Child psychologist T. Berry Brazelton published it (name and address withheld) in his May 1996 newspaper column, answering, "The nudity sounds pretty stimulating; I don't know why the other mother would encourage that. Maybe all you mothers should get together to discuss it."
While nude slumber parties were not and never have been a trend, "Nude Slumber Party" is the name of an adult videotape that promises to show what happens when "the clothes come off and the intimacies begin."
"What would really happen," Jeanne Phillips said from her Los Angeles office, "is once the girls stopped giggling they'd get cold and want to put something on."
The whole thing sounds suspiciously like an urban legend, said Cylin Busby, author of the upcoming book, "Pajama Party Uncovered."
Busby recalled rumors of nude all-girl slumber parties as early as 1993 -- the same year she wrote a thesis on the role of women in urban legends.
Busby also was senior editor of the former Teen magazine. "Of all the letters we got, and we'd get hundreds a week, I never saw one from any girl that had been invited to a nude slumber party and was wondering how to respond," she said.
Neither was child psychiatrist Elizabeth Berger familiar with nude slumber parties. "No, I've not heard of naked girl parties," she said from her office in Elkins Park, Pa.
"It's certainly not inappropriate for girls of 15 in the context of a hot summer day to jump into a lake," she added, but the emphasis there is on the lake, not on the nudity.
The subject intrigued Ann Landers.
"We received a letter, it seemed legitimate," said Marcy Sugar, Landers' spokeswoman. The columnist "had not heard of anything like it before."
In fact, Landers admitted as much in her answer to "Baffled in Burlingame."
"I'm as baffled as you are," she wrote, adding that "as long as you trust the mother of these girls to supervise for the duration of the party, I see no harm in it."
Coincidentally, Burlingame, Calif., is Jeanne Phillips' "old stomping ground." She graduated from Burlingame High.
"And," she added, "I can assure you that nude slumber parties were not the trend back then."
DEAR ANN: I hope you can help me with an unusual problem. My teenage daughter was recently invited to a nude slumber party. She assured me there would be no boys present.
I called the mother of the girl and talked to her about this party. While the mother admitted the idea was strange, she said she would be present during the party to supervise. She also said her husband and teenage son would be away for the weekend, so there would be no males present in the house. She assured me that nude slumber parties are all the rage these days.
I have never heard of such a thing and cannot imagine why a bunch of 15- and 16-year-old girls would want to spend 12 hours together stark naked. Any ideas?
Baffled Mom in Burlingame
DEAR MOM: I'm as baffled as you are. While walking around nude may be an interesting experiment, and sleeping nude has long been popular, I cannot imagine the appeal of doing either with a bunch of other girls in close quarters.
As long as you trust the mother of these girls to supervise for the duration of the party, I see no harm in it. Meanwhile, ask your daughter why she finds this such an attractive idea. You might learn something.
It certainly was for me.
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