Cut off the water supply, give 'em ONE ROLL of one-ply terlit paper, and hang legal pads with crayons attached for 'em to account for the the reasons why they had all those IDs. (Crayolas or Sharpies seem to work best when they are dancing around to go the john...)You seem to forget that many Mid Easterners are used to living in squaller, so no TP and no where to pee won't phase them. Now, hold them down and force feed them raw Jimmy Dean Pork sausage or slowly lower them into a cell full of pigs or wild javalina hogs and you might get somewhere.
You're right, I think both of our ideas would be like taking them to "Disneyland"...
Must rethink.