German cities fall to raccoon invasion force (HOLD MEIN BIER ALERT)

The Sunday Times ^ | October 27, 2002 | Justin Sparks

[MadIvan]

GERMAN towns and cities are being invaded by a marauding army of raccoons who are setting up home in people’s houses and attacking their pets.

The problem is so serious that it has become a topic of debate in the country’s regional parliaments, which have been inundated with calls for help.

“The raccoon is very well adapted to the human environment and once they move into your house it’s almost impossible to get rid of them,” said Ulf Hohmann, Europe’s leading specialist on the questing mammal.

The mass invasion became evident after concentrations of raccoons in Germany’s countryside reached saturation level and they began to head for urban areas. Residents of Hamburg, Berlin and Frankfurt are demanding professional assistance to rid themselves of the non-indigenous pest.

Unafraid of humans and possessing the guile to turn door handles and enter cat flaps, the black-masked interlopers scavenge for pet food in kitchens, strip cupboards bare, rummage through dustbins and mark furniture with their faeces.

Although native to the new world, raccoons have been quietly proliferating in Germany since the second world war, when 100 mating pairs escaped after a stray bomb hit a pelt farm on the outskirts of Berlin.

Researchers claim they have already spread as far as Spain in the west, Belarus in the east and Switzerland in the south. “So far they haven’t managed to cross the Alps into Italy, but that is probably just a matter of time,” said Hohmann.

The only way to keep them at bay, according to one pest control expert, is to “put a stereo in the attic and play heavy metal music at full blast night and day”.

[MadIvan]

The home of the once-mighty Wehrmacht, humbled now by Davy Crockett's chapeau.

Well done to the "American" invasion force perhaps? ;)

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

Bump!

[MadIvan]

For the Hold Muh Beer list.

Regards, Ivan

[piasa]

It's payback for all those @#$% starlings and eurasian tree sparrows.

[piasa]

We were going to send skunks as payback but then we realized that they pale in comparison to the French.

[JamesWilson]

The only way to keep them at bay, according to one pest control expert, is to “put a stereo in the attic and play heavy metal music at full blast night and day”.

LOL!!! Can you imagine a German trying this "remedy?"

[D.P.Roberts]

Or you could just shoot them when they come around.

Oh, sorry, I forgot, your government knows you don't need guns.

Never mind.

[Miss Marple]

Good morning, Ivan! I do not have raccoon problems, because I own one of these:

This looks exactly like my dog Cassie, and I got the picture from a uk web page. Perhaps you could set up an export business with breeders in the uk selling coonhounds for enormous sums to the Bier and Brat crowd. Anyone silly enough to have a cat door left unattended in an area where raccoons are roaming can no doubt be induced to part with large sums of money for protection.

I am surprised it took us so long to win the war, judging from the level of German competence I have seen recently.

[Dan Day]

"But he's got these fangs Sire and a mean streak a mile long!"

[ReaganIsRight]

They don't have guns in Germany after the holocaust?

I'm mostly of germanic origin and I can't believe these people are stupid enough to make the same mistake twice.

The British OTOH are doomed. I had a friend who moved from there in '76 because of the socialism. I told him we had the exact same problems here. He said "Yes, but you're 20 years behind us."

Scary, but true and exactly as predicted by Frederick Hayek in "The Road to Serfdom".

[Happygal]

Is this what a German Raccoon looks like? Complete with Leiderhosen?

[piasa]

World's Worst Hunting Dog

[Miss Marple]

LOL! Well, that is a beagle, which is what the shelter told my daughter she was getting. They lied.

My coonhound weighs 160 pounds.

[Hot Tabasco]

I live just north of Detroit in an increasingly populated area, new subdivisions all over the place. Don't know if we have an actual coon or opossum problem but they succumb to roadkill everywhere. Occasionally I'll set out a live trap and so far have caught 3 opossum which were disposed of, 1 coon and 3 cats where were released. Next time the coon will suffer the same fate as the opossum and the cats will go to the local humane society if I can catch them. After being caught once tho they smart-up real fast......

[Trickyguy]

"As God as my witness, I didn't know there are racoons in Germany."

[Rebelbase]

OMG! It's gnawing that guy's face off!

[Trickyguy]

Is that dog smiling?

[Riley]

The home of the once-mighty Wehrmacht, humbled now by Davy Crockett's chapeau.

BWAHAHAHA!!!

[DugwayDuke]

"The only way to keep them at bay, according to one pest control expert, is to “put a stereo in the attic and play heavy metal music at full blast night and day”."

I'm no pest control expert, but one would think polka music would also work.

"Unafraid of humans and possessing the guile to turn door handles and enter cat flaps"

Nor do I have a "cat flap" but the thought of a "cat flapping" does raise questions. But laying that aside, Duke and Mooch would be more than happy to extend a "friendly" welcome to any racoon entering their "doggie door". Duke is my great dane, and he's the small one. Mooch, the english mastiff outweighs him by a good fifty pounds. As I said, they would be more than delighted to welcome a racoon into their home.

[Prodigal Son]

Although native to the new world, raccoons have been quietly proliferating in Germany since the second world war, when 100 mating pairs escaped after a stray bomb hit a pelt farm on the outskirts of Berlin.

Wow.