Posted on 12/09/2002 7:42:13 AM PST by sfwarrior
Lawyers have the only profession with a virtual cottage industry of mean-spirited jokes aimed against them.
The lawyer jokes were created as a peaceful outlet to vent the extreme frustration many Americans feel about a system that's rigged to benefit lawyers at the expense of citizens.
This is not a new sentiment. Back in the '50s, the Three Stooges had a skit in which they played lawyers. Their law firm was called Dewey, Cheatem and Howe.
There's much support for this sentiment, and the corrupt legal system does indeed need a huge overhaul.
Taxpayers don't know whether they're criminals or not. There are some 20,000 pages of IRS tax codes. They were written by lawyers, are interpreted by lawyers and continue to reap a windfall to lawyers. The codes are a result of corporate lobbying by lawyers on behalf of their clients. Given the complexity of the codes, any one of us could be a criminal at any time. The situation is much like Dorothy looking for the wizard in the Emerald City, only to find a pathetic old con man behind the curtain. Unfortunately, the old con man holds our fate in his hands. We know it's ridiculous and intolerable, but we feel helpless to change the situation.
There's an attorney for every goofy case. And, unfortunately, many of these cases are not thrown out, and many of them result in plaintiffs receiving outrageous awards from juries. The system frequently works with an attorney willing to take the case on a contingency fee. They're in there for a share of the profit. Now, not every lawsuit is a scam. However, often plaintiff and lawyer are partners in a scheme to shake down whomever they can, and they do.
This scheme is clearly a potential conflict of interest if a lawyer won't settle early, even if an injured client wants to, because the lawyer has an equal stake in the outcome. That our courts and legislatures allow this malevolent scheme to continue is shameful.
How bad is the system? It's out of control when we have a system that allows dogs to sue cats. Consider this case: When Richard Espinosa and his 50-pound Labrador-mix dog, Kimba, visited the Escondido city library last fall, L.C., the 10-pound library cat, allegedly attacked the dog, causing $46.49 in veterinary bills for Kimba and a $38 charge from Espinosa's chiropractor. Espinosa has filed a claim against the city for $1.5 million.
He also wants the cat declawed and the library to post a warning sign. According to the claim, the attack caused the following injuries: "significant lasting, extreme and severe mental anguish and emotional distress including, but not limited to, terror, humiliation, shame, embarrassment, mortification, chagrin, depression, panic, anxiety, flashbacks, nightmares, loss of sleep (and) loss of full enjoyment of life as well as other physical and mental afflictions and pain, suffering."
Catherine Crier, the former judge who now hosts "Crier Live" on Court TV, writes in her compelling new book, "The Case Against Lawyers," about our screwy legal system and the law profession's role in creating this monster, "Why is it that if you can't kick nicotine, you can win a lawsuit for billions, but if you can't kick another drug, you can go to prison?"
It was the lawyers who got the billions in the tobacco settlement with the nation's attorneys-general; the individual smokers didn't get a dime. States shared the bounty with private lawyers -- fees to attorneys were in the billions. They have now set a new bar for greed in ripping off private industry. The tobacco settlement was what many commentators are now calling the single biggest wealth transfer in our nation's history.
Consider that now some fat kids are suing McDonald's, blaming the restaurant chain for their obesity. Why don't they just sue their mothers for taking them to McDonald's and giving them the money to buy the junk food? Give me a break. And you thought a woman collecting millions when she spilled hot coffee on herself was an anomaly.
You can't blame only these greedy lawyers. It's the judges who allow these cases to be heard, and it's the juries that are awarding these jaw-dropping judgments. The lawyers simply say, "That's the American way" -- all the way to the bank. All the lawyers must do is find industries that in any way contributed to a problem and then get them to pay 200 percent of all economic costs, plus all past and future costs, including theoretical costs, not just for their clients but for an entire class of people. Moreover, additional punitive costs can be several times more of the actual damages. That's a good way to bankrupt American industry.
The precise economic effects of such a huge tort burden on the American economy are hard to measure directly but are nonetheless significant, according to a study conducted this year by the actuarial firm of Tillinghast-Towers Perrin. The United States continues to have the most expensive civil-justice system of the 12 industrialized nations studied, according to the report, "U.S. Tort Costs 2000: Trends and Findings on the Costs of the U.S. Tort System." Among the report's highlights: The U.S. civil-justice system costs 1.8 percent of the nation's Gross Domestic Product, or $636 per person. In 1950, the system cost $12 per person.
Moreover, individuals suffer from the high price of insurance and the increased cost of goods and services. Businesses are hurt by the higher prices they must charge to pay their insurance costs. Children are hurt by the loss of playgrounds at many schools, housing developments and public spaces due to fear of lawsuit liability. Companies and/or entire industries such as boat and single-engine... (READ THE ENTIRE STORY-CLICK THE LINK BELOW)
(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...
They are supposed to be officers of the court, not business men. But for some reason, we hold business men to higher ethical standards than we do officers of the court.
We are also the only profession that is required by law in most states to give our time free of charge to the indigent. When I was in law school, that was called taking property without just compensation. The state calls it a condition of abtaining a license to practice.
Lawyers don't get disbarred for what we are discussing here, things like bringing frivolous lawsuits. Who runs bar associations? The lawyers. No bar association I've ever seen disciplines lawyers for filing lawsuits.
Here in Florida, for instance, you only get disbarred for comingling trust funds, or if you screw up big time and totally neglect clients' cases so that they get thrown out of court, or maybe if you get caught and convicted of a serious crime. The people bringing frivolous lawsuits are in fact the ones in control and in management positions in the bar association.
I might point out that judges are former lawyers, as are the majority of legislators. As if that wasn't enough, the trial lawyer lobby is notorious for its power, money, and access. As for juries, they're deliberately and routinely selected for stupidity during voir dire.
Well then, when will the trial lawyers refund the money they got for the silicon breast implant cases? We now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they had a "defective" argument and that those implants harmed no one. Doesn't a business that sells defective products owe refunds even if they did not know it was defective at the time?
And in one of the most shamefull displays of the legal system working, after blantant lies under oath, Bill (The Slick One) Clinton is still a lawyer...
See how wonderful the system is!
How many "professions" have an exclusive charter, (monopoly) in dealing with government agencies?
LOL!!!! Good one!
No they weren't. From the first lawyer joke every told, we meant every word.
GO after the corrupt judges!
Could you give us his name? I'm always curious about the history of a "self-made" man.
Of course. I worked my way through college as a cocktail waitress.
Attorneys get disbarred all the time.
Some do, some don't.
Bill Clinton would be a shining example of those who don't.
I don't think there's a cure for this disease, let alone a cure that our governing bodies could find acceptable to implement. I suspect we're stuck with it.
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