Posted on 01/06/2003 7:02:04 PM PST by jern
The Seven Dwarfs By WILLIAM SAFIRE
WASHINGTON Way back in 1988, Republicans derided the open field of Democratic presidential candidates as "the Seven Dwarfs." Any group of politicians taking on a sitting president must come to grips with the stature gap: the chief executive dominating the news from the Oval Office, Rose Garden or the commanding heights of Camp David seems larger than life.
The president as candidate can be brought down to size, as Herbert Hoover, Jimmy Carter and George Bush the elder have shown. That is why conservatives should resist the urge to characterize the many Democratic hopefuls these days as so many clowns climbing out of a tiny circus car.
I fell into that trap last week by directing an old New York put-down at freshman Senator John Edwards, calling him "light enough to do a tap dance on a charlotte russe."
This not only drew e-mail from boomers unfamiliar with airy desserts ("Who was Charlotte Russe?"), but also a packet from an aide of the senator enclosing a file of serious, substantive speeches made recently by the former North Carolina personal injury lawyer.
I am duty-bound to read and weigh these speeches, as well as position papers and public stands of other candidates as they come down the exploratory-committee chute. You can learn a lot by reading speeches: they tell you what the candidate really thinks, or what he thinks he should appear to think, or how adept he is at attracting and being able to pay for good thinkers, pollsters and writers. I'll study those respectfully before asking to see him.
Meanwhile, it's instructive to watch Edwards develop the presentation of his persona on television. Last year on NBC's "Meet the Press" he projected profound shallowness, recalling Bill Clinton's dismal performance at a convention before he got the hang of captivating an audience. But yesterday on ABC's "This Week," Edwards swung the other way. He was overly rehearsed, with tightly organized pitches substituting for direct answers. He seemed programmed to use the selling words "strong" and "leadership."
Because Edwards is (a) the Democratic candidate from the South, (b) willing to criticize unscrupulous trial lawyers who make up part of his financial base, (c) free to decide on running for re-election in North Carolina after any loss in the New Hampshire primary and (d) able to give lessons in slickness to Willie himself, this "fresh face" could be our next president, in the event of military disaster and major depression.
Senator John Kerry, contrariwise, has legislative experience, wartime heroism and antiwar activism going for him. What he lacks in charisma he makes up in heft, and he could drag Massachusetts into the Democratic column. Kerry gives thoughtful answers that do not lend themselves to sound bites, which makes him the tortoise to Edwards's hare.
Both Kerry and Edwards are yes-but on Iraq, the defining issue of the pre-election year. Tom Daschle, though he voted right on the Iraq resolution and is not yet a stale face, is a more reluctant warrior. Dick Gephardt, and soon-to-announce Joe Lieberman, are the modern-day Scoop Jacksons, and that liberal hawk was never able to get the Democratic nomination.
Gov. Howard Dean of Vermont is the Gene McCarthy dove ("clean for Dean") and would gain by catastrophe. Similarly, if homeland security failed, Gary Hart would be the Comeback Kid. Al Sharpton, running to take the place of Jesse Jackson in mobilizing blacks, will be the most deferred-to candidate in seven-man TV debates no matter what he says.
Strange as it seems, one of these guys will be the Democratic candidate. By smiting the others in early primaries, he will emerge as media giant, gaining momentum by promising to tax only the rich and to bring a new prosperity without war.
But what if, against all odds, the early primaries are inconclusive? What if stature eludes all? Al Gore, well regarded for speaking out all year with no political motive, would be draftable. Or, against all plans for the timing of the Restoration in 2008, the desperate party convention could turn to Hillary Clinton for salvation in 2004.
Partisans on left and right would love that. And what a campaign Bush II vs. Clinton II would be. The Seven Dwarfs would have found their Snow White.
SNOW WHITE!!?? Safire, you’ve lost your blooming mind.
But Edwards is not the only Dem candidate from the South, there is Graham of Florida, possibly Breaux of Louisiana, Gore of Tennessee no matter what is said officially, he is always on any short list...
Now that's impressive.
Oh, Bill. Hahahahaha! You have such a way with imagery!
Gore deserved to lose TN in the past election, and he did.
The Sunday before the Tuesday election, the front page of the Asheville NC paper had a quote from a Democrat woman in that city who said that she had always voted straight Dem, but her husband was from TN and told her never to trust a Gore. She was going with that, she said, and would move that one lever back.
That is just what the State of NC did! It voted Dem for all offices (more than usual expected), while switching 5-10% of total vote, attributed mostly to younger white women, to Bush so as to cast for HIM for President.
In my opinion (as a writer), the entire piece was composed for the sole purpose of arriving at this closing thought...
Which makes it a pisspoor column. And a worse joke, written to a weak punchline.
Ah, hell. I've done it myself.
But, upon re-reading, you're always left with the same guilty thought: "That was sure a long run for such a short slide."
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