Me And My Big Dumb Gun It's the new, biggest-ever Smith & Wesson .50 caliber monster handgun

SF Chronicle/SF Gate ^ | 2-26-03 | Mark Morford - Communist

[Oldeconomybuyer]

Can you feel the machismo? Can you feel the pulsing manly manhood just throbbing there in your hand, ready to silence a playground full of children or drop a charging elephant at 50 yards or annihilate a few hundred tofu-suckin' liberal jackass pacifist commie tree-huggers, protesting out there in the street? Mmm, phallic.

[Captiva]

I just love it when these "enlightened" hoplophobes feel threatened by inantimate objects.

[mhking]

S&W Model 500

[martin_fierro]

Ah, yet another understated, logical piece from Miss Morford. < /sarcasm>

This is "journalism"? This poof author has more of a phallic fixation than ANY gun owner I know.

The thing I like about the gun in question is that once you run out of ammo you can use it as a CLUB! <|:)~

[section9]

Yet another triumphant excursion into civil discourse from Mark Morford, professional pantload.

Be Seeing You,

Chris

[DoctorHydrocal]

The author's intense concentration on the male sexual organ leads me to one conclusion: he's as queer as a three dollar bill. Of course, not that there is anything wrong with that.

[Falcon4.0]

I'll bet this guy's AIDs infested penis has, or will kill more people than any of my guns!

[tdadams]

What a wimp. Could he pack any more snide cracks into this polemic? Typical left coast liberal, he's repulsed by and looking down his nose at 'fly over' country. Someone send him a brochure for real estate in France.

[grumple]

I look at it this way, he's just advertising to those he knows may buy it. The beauty of free market capitalism...

[Arkie2]

After reading this I want to go out and get one of these right now. Only problem is I'm afraid the darn thing might break my wrist from the recoil!

[sonofatpatcher2]

Re: Thoughts for the author?

I made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

[Cvengr]

My only criticism is a simple query.

How do you keep small birds from nesting in the barrell?

[governsleastgovernsbest]

I'm reminded of former Senator Phil Gramm's famous line (please supply your own Georgia/Texas drawl):

"I've got more guns than I need, but not as many guns as I want."

[heckler]

My E-mail to the author.

The only thing that could make my bulge feel bigger than having a new shiny .500 Smith would
be a 65 horsepower 80 inch chain saw,without a chain brake, for whacking down Sequoias full
of bed wetting, tree sitting,latte' sucking, San Fran liberals in record times. AND, AND, it wouldnt
have a muffler either, yeah no muffler, so I wouldnt have to listen to their pathetic screams as the
dreadfull tree crashed to the ground crushing them....AND AND......

Really man, get a grip. You could have spared us the paragraphs of paranoid hyperbole and just
said that you hate God, guns, Hummers and America. You would have saved a tree or two
as well.

Just for the petrochemical fun of it.( my favorite phrase )

[Aeronaut]

Only problem is I'm afraid the darn thing might break my wrist from the recoil!

Looks to be a five shooter. I'll bet King Kong couldn't empty it without something hurting.

[Trailerpark Badass]

Well, he sold ME on it...I think I'll buy two.

[riverrunner]

This really needed a BARF alert.

[doodad]

AND, AND don't forget to arrive with said chainsaw and gun at the base of the sequoia in a big block chevy with straight pipes..no emmissions equipment!

[Slings and Arrows]

The headline made it sound like the author had tried out this handgun. The text showed otherwise. How could I have been so naive as to think that a good liberal statist would actually gather facts before reaching a conclusion?

[George W. Bush]

This has to be the gayest anti-gun article I've ever seen. The author is obviously not a Pink Pistols member.

So who owns S&W now? I didn't know they'd been sold to new owners. Are the RKBA folks still boycotting all S&W products? And is this hand-cannon intended to overcome our S&W boycotting? I suppose the shells are about $5 a shot.

I would say the gun itself is a little ridiculous but I suppose someone will find an actual practical use for one besides gun nut fun.