First, you need to understand that churches are like people. Each one has it's own personality. Each individual church even within denominations has it's own personality. Just like the seven churches at the beginning of Revelations each had some strengths and each had some weaknesses.
Second, it would probably do you good to go through a study like "Experiencing God" if you can find one. That study perhaps better than any other demonstrates how the church is supposed to work and how the various members within it work.
Third, if you can find a course like "Masterlife". That is an excellent discipleship course that will teach you the spiritual disciplines you need. That course will help you understand scripture much better. It will help you understand how people mature in Christ. And it will show you how the different disciplines equip you to be able to carry out various acts of ministry.
Lastly, don't expect churches to be perfect. They are all a bunch of sinners saved by grace. But do look around and pray about what church to be in.