Posted on 09/09/2003 9:11:38 AM PDT by adam_az
(Robert Anton Wilson is the author of "Illuminatus Trilogy" and many other books)
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Position Paper #1
After refusing many pleas to run for governor, I have reconsidered and now enter the race as an unofficial write-in candidate. After all, why shd I remain the ONLY nut in California who ain't running?
My party, the Guns and Dope Party, invites extremists of both right and left to unite behind the shared goals of
1) Get those pointy-headed Washinton bureaucrats off our backs and off our fronts too!
2) guns for everybody who wants them; no guns for those who don't want them
3) drugs for everybody who wants them; no drugs for those who don't want them
4) freedom of choice, free love, free speech, free Internet and free beer
5) California secession -- Keep the anti--gun and ant-dope fanatics on the Eastern side of the Rockies
6) Lotsa wild parties every night by gun-toting dopers
7) Animal protection -- Support your right to keep and arm bears
More position papers will follow; we know at least 69 good positions
Robert Anton Wilson Guns and Dope Party
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GOD AND TSARDOM 03 September 2003 e.v. Robert Anton Wilson
Tsarism represents an intermediate form between European monarchism and Asian despotism, being, possibly, closer to the latter of these two. -- Leon Trotsky, Russia's Social Development and Tsarism
The Guns & Dope Party wants to abolish Tsarism and restore constitutional democracy in the California Republic. If our example inspires the other 49 states, so much the better.
Why do we oppose Tsarism? How does the U.S. drug Tsar function?
Allegedly, this omniscient official knows what drugs, herbs, compounds etc. you should use for your medical problems better than your doctor knows!!!!!! Even more magically, the Tsar knows this without doing any physical examination of you, blood pressure readings, other scientific tests etc. that your doctor does, and often from a distance of 3000 miles -- and the Tsar does it without even looking at you. The Tsar doesn't even know if you have hangnail or cancer, AIDS or flu, belong to the senior set or haven't even reached voting age yet. He can't even classify you as male, female or undecided.
In short, the Tsar knows nothing about you or your medical problems, by ordinary data, but he still know more about your medical care than your doctor knows, by some supernatural means unknown to mere mortals.
This makes sense if and only if we have a devout faith that our Tsar, like the Russian Tsars of olde, receives guidance directly from "God." No other, less spooky explanation fits the claims made by Tsardom.
The government accordingly spends more and more of our tax money financing "faith-based organizations." Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking, which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy.
He has my vote.....
Although his slogan is actually a lift from the old White Panther Party/MC5 rallying cry -- "Dope, Guns, and F*cking in the Streets!"
"I can out-slack RAW any day of the year, including St. Tibbs Day."
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