Actually I never said whether I believe in a God one way or the other. I merely said without God there is no objective basis for what you call morality or right or wrong. An atheist can easily live a "higher moral life" than a theist but only as defined by the theist. Merely because one presupposes a God doesn't mean they live up to the standards set by that God any better than one who doesn't believe in a God. But if one doesn't believe in a God then there are no standards, only what they personally chose to do or whatever makes them feel best about themseles. Without a God there is no objective basis for saying Hitler was any "worse" a person than Mother Theresa. Every serious philosopher has acknowledged this, even Kant with his cop out of the catagorical imperative.
This could be the reason you are so confused, put the damn book down, get to know real people and use you own mind to decide what is real. We have enough philosophers and community organizers