“I’m in a similar ship as you are.
Sappy nonsense in the guise of comfort is more annoying than anything else. Then they’ll spout the Calvinist nonsense about a spirit in dwelling that is not by my choice.
Whatever.
There’s much happiness in harnessing the levers of life reminding ourselves all the time how little time in consciousness we really have. One in fifty human conceptions end in a spontaneous (natural) abortion, often with the mother not even aware she was pregnant.
What a grand design.”
I used to think as you do during a really dark time in my life (after salvation!), and I even used the same examples you do to defend the growing despair I felt, which really were just silly blasphemies such as what you wrote. It was like a dark hole I had fallen into, and more and more I started to think that if such unfortunate events happen to children, to even people in the prime of life, that there was no reason to believe that God had a plan for my life at all. It was all by chance, and by chance I had come to believe, and by chance I could be destroyed. But, in reality, I didn’t really understand what I believed.
Whatever the case, once I hit rock bottom, it was God who brought me out of it, proving the “Calvinistic nonsense” you mentioned. It is an incredible thing to witness the hand of God on your life, an answer to prayer so powerful that it cannot be denied. And since that time, I cannot tell you how often God answers my prayers in a very direct way. Not because I need the signs to believe, but because I believed, and therefore He answered.
Life isn’t about the enjoyment of life, but rather the enjoyment of what comes after in direct dependence on God. There is no guarantee of peace in this world, nor is it ever promised. Even Christ could not save us unless He was crucified.
God took you off the devil’s wind and set you on the threshold of His spirit. You still said yes at that point, though you doubtless would have also said if asked what kind of idiot would ever say no to that kind of joy! Because you COULD have blown off the Holy Spirit had you chosen to, saying ah, you had a brain fusion or something else to explain what happen.
“It is an incredible thing to witness the hand of God on your life, an answer to prayer so powerful that it cannot be denied.”
Indeed! Amen.