Perhaps it has to do with men's disinclination to be the objects of penetration. The horror with which most men regard being the objects of oral or anal sex contradicts dramatically with their eagerness to perform these acts on women. It's as if they believe women are a lower order of humanity.
Plus, I think, generally, men who commit sodomy upon women, don't even recognize themselves as sodomites.
What you are talking about in the case of Lot is a case of angels of God being the targets of attempted rape. Lot was scared that if they actually got their hands on the angels, God would unleash the equivalent of a nuclear explosion on the whole city right then and there. People seldom think when they are scared and unprepared for the situation. Lot was both. Thankfully, the attackers got rendered blind, and with burning pain at that.