Seriously, you need to find a different church if the most important thing to the pastor and churchgoers is a veil. I belong to St. Agnes one of the most traditionalist of churches - Father Rutler was once a priest here. I’ve never seen anything like you are posting.
On Sunday, I sit in the back of the church. I come casually dressed.
I loved St Agnes and used to go there all the time - both when I was in college and a waitress at the Schraffts across the street and later as an adult devoted to the Old Rite (but not to the nuttiness that seems to accompany it in many places).
I live in Florida now, not because I’m retired, but because I live with my sister and she needed to get out of her high-stress job and go someplace completely different, and we picked this because I’m a Spanish translator and Florida has a big Spanish history.
I get Fr. Rutler’s bulletin from St Michael’s and I love it.
Interestingly enough, I’ve met Old Rite (SSPX) priests and laity in France and Spain, and none of them have the obsession with fictional dress codes and bizarre economic systems that seem to be common in smaller Old Rite churches here.
I’d like to take people to see the Old Mass, but it is usually badly done and they’re afraid to go because they think people are going to criticize them for not dressing correctly or for having made some mistake in when to stand up or sit down.
I think this may be because a lot of people in my area are converts and never knew the Church when it was really the Church. So they’re very insecure and so are the priests, many of whom are also converts.
BTW, nothing wrong with converts! But I think unless you knew the Church as it used to be when it was a hodgepodge but a faithful hodgepodge, you may have a somewhat off base idea of it.
I remember one time being at Midnight Mass and seeing people around me who I knew were professors at Columbia (I grew up on the UWS), Puerto Ricans from the 6-story walk-ups on Amsterdam, a wide variety of French and non-English speakers, the Irish supers ... and a row of cops in the back who had gotten out of their squad cars to run in for enough of Midnight Mass for it to “count.”
That’s what I want to see come back. Not a tiny community of the perfect, but just - well, Catholics.
I think the only one who is opposed to that, alas, is the current occupant of the See of Peter. And that’s the big problem.