Through the gates of heaven came a large group of Baptists. St. Peter escorted them past a room full of people and he said "SSSssshhhhh! Keep it quiet!" as they passed by. A short time later, St. Peter escorted a group of Anglicans into Heaven and he said the same thing, "SSSssshhhhh! Keep it quiet!" as they passed by the room full of people. Then it happened again and again, as he escorted into Heaven groups of Lutherans and Methodists and Catholics and even a few from other faiths, each time admonishing them with "SSSssshhhhh! Keep it quiet!" as they passed by that room. Finally, someone stopped for a moment and asked him just why they had to keep quiet.
"Oh," said St. Peter. "Didn't I tell you? Those are the Presbyterians, and they think they are the only ones here!"
Being God’s Co-Laborer (09/06/2007)
One day a minister got it into his head that he should give a sermon on being God’s co-laborer and he thought it should happen soon. So he got ahold of the fellow responsible for the bulletins and told him to change the next week’s printing.
It was really off the cuff but he really wasn’t worried, after all, it was a vast topic and he was only giving it one lesson.
That Sunday after servises he started reading and highlighting text. By late Monday he’d found enough scriptures to work with and so, after an elaborate dinner and a nap, he started writing.
Amazingly, he was done my early Tuesday morning and had found the last typo before the secretary even showed up.
As he reread the sermon again he was amazed at just how good it was.
It was certainly the best thing he’d ever written and the flow was such that it would be a joy to give.
“Here is one that will stand the test of time!” he congradulated himself.
Then he got a naughty thought: confirming that he was still alone he highlighted the text and had his Mac read it back to him (Macs can do that, it’s built into their OS).
The minister sat there soaking in his lesson and congradulated himself for a job well done!
But no sooner had the Mac stopped speaking and he heard it’s voice chime: “WOW! I never knew I had it in me!!!”
As the minister sat there, mouth agape, his computer’s word processor took credit for the sermon.
“You didn’t write that! I did!!!” the minister yelled at the screen, “How can you take credit for my work?!?”
“That,” a booming voice filled the whole room even as the lighting grew blazingly bright, “is pretty much what I was wondering about too.”
LOL!