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Second marriages
OSV.com ^ | 01-09-19 | Msgr. Charles Pope

Posted on 01/19/2019 11:33:40 AM PST by Salvation

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To: ChildOfThe60s

It is often the mother who is problematic. We cannot know what abusive mothers went through which warped them so decidedly. I am sorry that you dear brother was unable to deal with the pain, I am happy that you are as whole and happy as you can be.


41 posted on 01/19/2019 1:43:33 PM PST by pbear8 (the Lord is my light and my salvation)
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To: Bringbackthedraft

Second and third marriages are a tough row to hoe. So much baggage for most people. You are to be congratulated on your perseverance and good fortune!


42 posted on 01/19/2019 1:44:20 PM PST by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60's....You weren't really there)
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To: Salvation

My wife first marriage ended in divorce...

It was a civil marriage not a church marriage and a civil divorce...

I have been married only once...

Since my wife and I are not RC no need for the RCC to profit off her mistake by buying an annulment...which is meaningless to us...


43 posted on 01/19/2019 1:45:23 PM PST by Popman
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To: pbear8
I am happy that you are as whole and happy as you can be.

Thank you. I have been very fortunate. I did learn some lessons and was lucky enough to find such a special woman.

Even still, I did come a little close to making a big mistake before I met her. The ex husband of that near mistake told me many years later that I owed him for saving me the 11 years of hell he got, LOL. Nice guy. He's had a successful 2nd marriage fortunately.

44 posted on 01/19/2019 1:51:21 PM PST by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60's....You weren't really there)
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To: Salvation

I escaped infidelity and my wife escaped infidelity and abuse.

We celebrate 45 years this April.


45 posted on 01/19/2019 1:59:46 PM PST by N. Theknow (Kennedys-Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat-But they know what's best for you.)
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To: Salvation

Second time was the CHARM for me
Do not marry the wrong woman. Think twice. Ask questions
And once you have kids. It’s all about them not you anymore
They grow up and then model you


46 posted on 01/19/2019 2:03:08 PM PST by Truthoverpower (The guvmint you get is the Trump winning express !)
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To: MayflowerMadam
I believe we all have sinned and deserve the worst possible outcome. OTOH, What can wash away my sins?, nothing but the blood of Jesus. .The Bible doesn't have caveats! doesn't matter how many times someone has been married. Only a silly god would condemn you after 1 marriage and divorce if you remarried.

ca·ve·at.[ˈkavēˌat, ˈkävēˌät] NOUN ..caveats (plural noun) a warning or proviso of specific stipulations, conditions, or limitations

I'm not perfect, just forgiven

47 posted on 01/19/2019 2:03:14 PM PST by Ikeon (Capitalists build fences to keep people out, socialists build fencea to keep people in.)
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To: ChildOfThe60s
Well, that's up to you.

No offense, but if marriage isn't permanent then it isn't really marriage at all by any Christian definition. It's just a civil arrangement that is actually much weaker than a contract to buy a car. If you need any evidence of that, just see how many marriages end in divorce compared to how many people get out of contracts to buy a car after they've already taken possession of it.

48 posted on 01/19/2019 2:05:44 PM PST by Alberta's Child ("In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.")
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To: Salvation

Thank you for sharing.


49 posted on 01/19/2019 3:06:19 PM PST by CondoleezzaProtege
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To: Popman; MayflowerMadam
You aren't Catholic; your wife isn't Catholic, so I'm not sure why you're trying to inject your situation into a Catholic discussion. Put another way, if you and your wife were Catholics, how do you know her first marriage could not have been declared null by the Church?

You don't, so I don't understand what your objection is. You're not subject to Catholic Church law, so you didn't go by it. I'm not subject to Indonesian law. I don't go by that. There's no difference.

As Mayflower correctly notes, this isn't really a Catholic thing. It's a New Testament thing.

As a point of information, if your wife were a Catholic, and her first marriage was (as you say) a civil ceremony, the annulment could have been granted on those grounds alone, without even considering the various other problems in her first marriage.

50 posted on 01/19/2019 3:14:50 PM PST by Campion ((marine dad))
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To: Campion

“As Mayflower correctly notes, this isn’t really a Catholic thing. It’s a New Testament thing.”

It is not a complete reading of the words of Christ.

In Mathew, Jesus also said ...

“Jesus replied, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning. Now I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.”


51 posted on 01/19/2019 4:11:45 PM PST by aMorePerfectUnion
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To: Popman
Only in the RCC tradition is it a sin for my wife to marry me ...

It is the Messiah's word, and it is a hard saying. There is an RCC tradition pertaining to Catholics and their spouses where the Church has the apostolic authority to declare a marriage was not a sacramental marriage. Without that, one is on one's own, so to speak.

  • It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
  • But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

    ...

  • The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
  • And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
  • And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
  • Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
  • They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
  • He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
  • And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.


Matthew, Catholic chapter five, Protestant verses thirty one to thirty two ,
Matthew, Catholic chapter nineteen, Protestant verses three to nine ,
as authorized, but not authored by, King James

52 posted on 01/19/2019 4:14:29 PM PST by af_vet_1981 (The bus came by and I got on, That's when it all began)
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To: aMorePerfectUnion

Matthew 5:32

Jesus:

“but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”


53 posted on 01/19/2019 4:19:11 PM PST by aMorePerfectUnion
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To: MayflowerMadam
Evangelicals believe that as well. After her first husband dies, then the adultery ends. And it’s not a “tradition”; it’s Biblical.

That is correct. Here is a detailed treatise on the subject:

THE SIN OF REMARRIAGE ADULTERY (click here)

54 posted on 01/19/2019 5:43:40 PM PST by imardmd1 (Fiat Lux)
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To: wardaddy

I feel you. I completely get it.


55 posted on 01/19/2019 5:54:31 PM PST by Yaelle
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To: RooRoobird20; Popman

Why grant an annulment? There is scripture that in the case of adultery one can be granted a divorce and then one can remarry.

Matthew 5:31-32


56 posted on 01/19/2019 6:01:55 PM PST by marajade (Skywalker)
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To: Ikeon

“The Bible doesn’t have caveats!”

Except for that ... or you’ll go to Hell if you don’t accept Christ as your personal Savior part. Pretty big caveat. (I do know what “caveat” means. Vocabulary has always been a strong suit.)

“Only a silly god would condemn you after 1 marriage and divorce if you remarried.”

Calling God “silly”: Probably not a great idea. Blasphemy ... ummm ... you know.

The marriage, adultery, remarriage, etc., is written in God’s Word. Take it up with Him if it offends you; I didn’t make it up.

“I’m not perfect, just forgiven.”

Me, too.


57 posted on 01/19/2019 6:47:36 PM PST by MayflowerMadam
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To: ChildOfThe60s

That is where the nullity that Msgr. Pope writes about comes into play. Clearly if your mother exhibited harmful, demonic behavior that would possibly be grounds for an annulment of the marriage. It’s a little late in this case, but (Catholic) families suffering this type of dysfunction should consult with a knowledgeable, compassionate priest about annulment.


58 posted on 01/19/2019 6:55:11 PM PST by EDINVA
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To: marajade

I don’t have the verses memorized, but Jesus said divorce was not a sin if there is adultery or abandonment.

The Catholic Church will grant annulments because abandonment, adultery, severe abuse, extreme deception (spouse deceived other spouse into marrying under false pretenses), one spouse refusing to have any children.

After I legally divorced my first husband because of adultery, I eventually met my second husband who is Catholic. To be married in the Catholic Church I had to get my first marriage annulled. I filled out what must have been a fifteen page questionnaire and submitted it to the local diocese. Because of the high volume of annulment applications, I waited three years for a decision, finally got my annulment.


59 posted on 01/19/2019 7:05:31 PM PST by RooRoobird20 ("Democrats haven't been this angry since Republicans freed the slaves."the rest were)
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To: MayflowerMadam
Not true. Evangelicals believe that as well. After her first husband dies, then the adultery ends. And it’s not a “tradition”; it’s Biblical.

Can you give us some biblical evidence to support that???

60 posted on 01/19/2019 7:08:42 PM PST by Iscool
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