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The Ten Commandments (Revised Episcopal Edition)
self
| August 12, 2003
| Lucretia Borgia
Posted on 08/12/2003 4:53:39 PM PDT by Lucretia Borgia
As everyone knows by now, at its convention last week in Minneapolis the Episcopal Church took a great leap forward into the 21st Century by electing its first openly and actively gay bishop. Overlooked in all the excitement were some of the more mundane changes approved by the membership. For example, the time-honored but overwhelmingly negative "Ten Commandments" have been replaced by:
The Nine Suggestions
- You probably should not put any false idols before the Lord your God.
- You probably should not take the name of the Lord God in vain, BUT, there will always be exceptions.
- Try to keep the Sabbath holy, except for fishing opener, golf, or any professional playoff game.
- Try to be nice and not dis your mamma and/or papa, if known.
- Try not to shoplift, swindle, steal goods, or download intellectual property of others.
- Try not to bear false witness, BUT what the heck, everyone lies about sex.
- Try not to covet your neighbor's wife/husband/main squeeze, BUT sometimes things just happen.
- Try not to covet your neighbor's goods, riding mower, power tools, or lawn, and always return borrowed items when asked.
- Try not kill or commit murder. Exempt from this are liberals who vote for pro choice candidates.
Note: As of August 8, 2003, the Episcopal Church of the USA has delisted adultery and fornication as sins.
TOPICS: General Discusssion
KEYWORDS:
To: Lucretia Borgia
Note: As of August 8, 2003, the Episcopal Church of the USA has delisted adultery and fornication as sins. I realize the "9 Suggestions" is sarcasm, but is the above true? They really took it upon themselves to edit and remove one of God's laws?
Let the flooding continue...
To: Lucretia Borgia
As of August 8, 2003, the Episcopal Church of the USA has delisted adultery and fornication as sins. Add sodomy to that list of delisteds.
3
posted on
08/12/2003 5:03:35 PM PDT
by
evad
(liberals & lying..It's WHAT they do, it's ALL they do and they WON'T stop...EVER!!)
To: SaveTheChief
Actually at the convention there was considerable discussion of changing it to, "Thou shalt not commit adultery unless everyone's a consenting adult and cool with it," but the pederasts and bestialists objected to that.
To: Spiritus Gladius
Hard to get Floppy's consent...
To: Eric in the Ozarks
It's all those shepherd and flock metaphors. "Baa once for yes and twice for no."
To: Lucretia Borgia
Bump
7
posted on
08/12/2003 6:13:02 PM PDT
by
Gamecock
(L=John 6:35-40, Rom 8:32-34, Heb 9:15)
To: Lucretia Borgia
10) Remember, Tuesday is Soylent Green Day.
Jesus said, "As as in the Days of Noah...."
8
posted on
08/12/2003 6:23:58 PM PDT
by
FreeRep
(Proud to be American - John 3:16)
To: Lucretia Borgia
btt
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