In the list, you left out the nightmares that last for long after. And the drinking and the failed marriages. For a long time afterward, experiencing deep sorrow that you made it back and so many friends, good guys, didn't.
Pretty well all of us, I guess.
I never looked at myself with having "PTSD" but I knew that I had changed - just couldn't put my finger on it. The book definition of PTSD is that it comes from the brain's reaction to fear. That's part of it. I think that it also comes from seeing things that normal folks will never see, of learning that killing other people is pretty straightforward, of experiencing sustained deprivation and discomfort and sleeplessness, and maybe most of all, detachment from everyone except the ones who experienced the same things that you did. Our reception when we got back magnified everything.
The more I learn, the more that I am sure that each and every surviving combat veteran has some or most of these effects. We have all done well in our lives (other than marriages) and we have been productive, moral people - but we are changed.
“In the list, you left out the nightmares that last for long after. And the drinking and the failed marriages. “
They’re on the list, I just didn’t want to overdo it.
While permanently changed, it’s possible to have a normal life.
Talk openly to your doc. Download the VA forms and see if he’ll fill them out.
As for firearms, they are only an issue at 100% disability. For those of us at 30% or 50%...non-issue. Nobody will ever ask. And if you’ve managed to support yourself over the last 40 years you’re 50% max.
My big epiphany was when I realized that the temporary relief of alcohol actually made the anxiety worse!
And at our age it’s not about the money. The money is trivial. It’s about access to programs ONLY the VA offers, programs that make a difference in quality of life.
What’s left of it.