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I Don’t Want to Date a Republican!
The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles ^ | March 23, 2012 | Tamara Shayne Kagel

Posted on 03/23/2012 7:43:19 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet

As a lifelong Democrat, I never thought I would be in this place. I never thought I would have to confront this dreaded unforeseen fear - the terror that is for me, dating a Republican. I don’t even know very many Republicans. But it turns out, I’m not alone. Outside of Washington D.C., the entire country is pretty segregated when it comes to political parties. According to dating website, seven out of ten people are in a relationship with someone of the same political persuasion. I grew up knowing very few Republicans and the rare ones I did know got made fun behind their backs, be it children or adults. I know there were some Republicans at my college because there was a “College Republicans” group on campus but this was the Bushy era and the conservatives who were smart enough to get into my university were too smart to be vocal defenders of the Dick Cheney puppet show that was the aughts. I’ve been living in Los Angeles ever since in the type of place where at the moment President Obama was pronounced the winner of his race, we threw open our windows and whooped and shrieked out into the streets till an impromptu parade erupted and bars served free drinks. I cried. I’ve worked for the Democratic Party, interned for a Democratic Congressman and Senator. And even though I went to a more conservative law school, there were enough liberals on campus that if you included the faculty, we could flock together so that I rarely interacted with those others who met with our derision.

So when I tell you I never thought I would date a Republican, it’s not because I really contemplated it and made a specific decision. It’s because as long as I didn’t drive to Orange County, my chances of actually running into one felt slim to none. We live in a birds-of-a-feather type of country. So how did I get to here? How did I come to date a man who told me he “liked a lot of Mitt Romney’s ideas” and that he thought John Kerry wasn’t really a war hero and that cap and trade is a terrible system. At first I didn’t think it would be a big issue. I fell in love with someone who has many similar interests and a big generous heart and when he told me he was an Independent I thought that was just something moderate Democrats said when being pretentious about how non-conformist they are. I didn’t realize I was dating someone who would spend every single Tuesday night glued to Wolf Blitzer’s analysis of another Republican primary. And to be frank, at this point, it’s making me freak out. I get mad at him just thinking about our past political discussions. I can’t date a Republican! What was I thinking? What if I have little Republican babies?

Naturally, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He keeps saying we can always find common ground. But I find myself angry with him for things that I expect to take for granted. He admitted to me that the word “liberal” for him had a bad connotation and that the word “conservative” did not. It’s hard to blame him when this is a common phenomena in our country now so that only 20% of the population identifies as liberal while 40% is willing to identify as conservative. I tell him this is a direct result of the vitriol that Fox News and Rush Limbough and Glen Beck have injected into our discourse and he shouldn’t buy into their demonizing of the left. But for my boyfriend, “liberal” means big government inefficiency. I’m normally a calm person, but when he said this, I was close to flipping out. How could he buy into all that? He’s a smart person, he reads reputable news sources. And yet, I continually find myself mad at him for buying into conservative propaganda.

Everyone always points to Mary Matalin and James Carville as shining examples of a couple with different political beliefs and a stable marriage. But honestly, have you seen them bicker on tv? I love watching them but I don’t want to fight like that in my home. I want my home to be a place of tranquility and calm and little social justice fighters playing pin your favorite president on the blue donkey.

Another burgeoning concern is that I’m starting to feel like I always have to watch what I say. Yes, I know there are many intelligent Republicans out there and if the party was made up of just David Frums and Christopher Buckleys or even Mitt Romneys, they’d be a reasonable moderate party that I have an intellectual disagreement with and there wouldn’t be anything to make fun of. But for now, there are a lot of crazy extremist kooks running the Republican party and when you get into Santorum territory and Palin country, I want the freedom to openly mock and deride in a forum where I don’t have to worry about offending someone. Is that so wrong? I’m sick of back-peddling every time I accidentally call them teabaggers.

Months ago, we got to talking about Ron Paul, or rather, my boyfriend got to telling me all about him. Although, we don’t disagree that much on social issues, we disagree quite a bit about how influential social issues should be when it comes to casting a ballot, so we started to really get into it. At one point, I said that certain individual rights and liberties should be the most important issue and I was disappointed in my boyfriend because he was willing to forgo those liberties in order to “make a buck.” He was offended and hurt. Admittedly, I went too far and I believe he is compassionate for those less fortunate and I know he doesn’t think he’s sacrificing civil rights for money. But I was making an impassioned argument and this is how liberals talk when we’re amongst friends. To stay in my relationship, I must resolve myself somewhat to being more careful in my language now when talking about fiscal conservatives but in so doing, is that the best decision for a healthy relationship? No one wants to have to walk on eggshells around their partner.

Last week, I went over to my boyfriend’s to watch the HBO docudrama Game Change about Palin’s Vice Presidential bid over some wine and take-out. When it was over, I felt bad for John McCain, but outraged at all the doltish hicks who were venerating this ignorant backwards woman who reveled in her lack of knowledge. My boyfriend on the other hand, said he felt bad for her.

How can you feel bad for her? I was shocked. Why is it always the Republican party that nominates idiots? Joe the Plumber, Christine O’Donnell. Democrats would never allow someone who didn’t understand what the “fed” was to run for city councilman let alone the Vice-Presidency.

How much do you really know about what the Fed does? He shot back.

I almost lost it. In that moment, he was impugning my knowledge and at the same time defending Sarah Palin. I was livid. How can I build my life with someone who defends Sarah Palin and thinks “liberal” is a dirty word? We went back and forth for a while with me spouting off economic knowledge and him keeping my rhetoric in check. But I went to bed angry that night.

I know we’re not supposed to try to change our significant others, but I can’t help but hope that I might be able to make a tried and true blue Democrat out of him. It’s worked somewhat so far, as I’ve been able to convince him that John Kerry really was a war hero and that Mitt Romney has backtracked on climate change. And maybe I am better off calling them teapartyers and aside from adjusting interest rates I don’t really know that much about the Fed. Congress recently passed the first Bi-partisan piece of legislation in years so if they can do it, surely two people who love each other and share many of the same values can find common ground as well. Now, if I could only get him to start watching Bill Maher with me…


TOPICS: California; Issues; Parties
KEYWORDS: california; palin; romney; teaparty
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To: richardtavor

Oh. Duh.

(sheesh am I embarrassed)

Dittos.


61 posted on 03/23/2012 8:36:45 PM PDT by Cringing Negativism Network ("The door is open" PALIN 2012)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
I think it's time to retire the term "Rockefeller Republican" and replace it with "Romney Republican." If this lib knows what it means to be a "Romney Republican" then I think we can start putting that term into common usage. Of course RINO works too.

That being said, I can think of at least two reasons this guy is willing to put up with her stupidity...


62 posted on 03/23/2012 8:37:14 PM PDT by JediJones (The Divided States of Obama's Declaration of Dependence: Death, Taxes and the Pursuit of Crappiness)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

You never know... she might change her mind.

It’s obviously time for a refill!


63 posted on 03/23/2012 8:38:11 PM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
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To: ottbmare

It’s humor — weird, but humor.


64 posted on 03/23/2012 8:40:50 PM PDT by Bernard Marx
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Female liberal with a conservative male has a better chance of working out than a conversative female with a liberal male.


65 posted on 03/23/2012 8:45:20 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: JediJones

She’s not really that hot.

Frankly.

Not enough, to make up for being dumb.


66 posted on 03/23/2012 8:46:44 PM PDT by Cringing Negativism Network ("The door is open" PALIN 2012)
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To: Bringbackthedraft

Why in the world would you want to take a girl hunting or fishing? You do those things to get away from women.


67 posted on 03/23/2012 8:49:55 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: mountn man

That’s the hilarious part. She is describing a RINO moderate as though he is far right. She was able to “convince him John Kerry was a war hero” ? Nobody but a kool-aid drinking leftist believes THAT.


68 posted on 03/23/2012 8:57:53 PM PDT by Kellis91789 (The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Too bad a woman would never want to orgasm.


69 posted on 03/23/2012 8:58:05 PM PDT by struggle (http://killthegovernment.wordpress.com/)
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To: bitterohiogunclinger

I was thinking of that old joke where a doctor tells the guy: You have six months to live. Guy asks: Doc, what should I do?

Doc tells him, "Marry a Jewish girl, and move to Kansas"

Guy says: "I hate Kansas, and I'm not Jewish".

Doc says, "Trust me, it will be the longest six months of your life."

70 posted on 03/23/2012 8:58:41 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Well, then stop dating him. Problem solved.

This lady sounds like a horrifying narcissist. I pity the man who finds himself romantically involved with her.


71 posted on 03/23/2012 9:00:13 PM PDT by NMCicero
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

Another Republican goes slumming.....


72 posted on 03/23/2012 9:03:23 PM PDT by Intolerant in NJ
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To: meatloaf
13 posted on Friday, March 23, 2012 9:50:28 PM by meatloaf: "That’s what I was thinking. Now I’m not sure. Can someone be that far out?"

Yes.

She's quite moderate compared to a number of the women I knew in high school, college, and various newsrooms.

73 posted on 03/23/2012 9:04:00 PM PDT by darrellmaurina
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To: Kirkwood

My wife is fairly liberal, and we often end up agreeing to disagree. We both enjoy our debates and we make sure to never take it personally. :)


74 posted on 03/23/2012 9:05:11 PM PDT by NMCicero
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

I was so haapy at the first large extended family Thanksgiving gathering with my daughter’s in laws that every single one of us is a conservative - except my daughter who is an independent. We all sighed a long sigh of relief knowing our holidays would be merry for the next 30-40 years.


75 posted on 03/23/2012 9:09:26 PM PDT by marsh2
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

So how do you think a Republican would feel if she thought she might have to date a Democrat? Ewwwwwww!


76 posted on 03/23/2012 9:16:29 PM PDT by smalltownslick
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

So how do you think a Republican would feel if she thought she might have to date a Democrat? Ewwwwwww!


77 posted on 03/23/2012 9:16:41 PM PDT by smalltownslick
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To: SunkenCiv

This level of close-minded ignorance and bigotry is common among ersatz cosmopolitans.


78 posted on 03/23/2012 9:20:28 PM PDT by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
You might enjoy my response:
This level of close-minded ignorance and bigotry is common among ersatz cosmopolitans and an illness endemic among Ashkenazi Jews descended from those who immigrated prior to 1924. Fortunately, more recent immigrants and Orthodox Jews have a lower incidence of class myopia and liberal oikophobia. I would love to know Ms. Kagel’s Alma Mater and SAT score, because I likely went to a better school and had a better score.
79 posted on 03/23/2012 9:28:36 PM PDT by rmlew ("Mosques are our barracks, minarets our bayonets, domes our helmets, the believers our soldiers.")
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

This is exactly how 90% of my relatives and old friends believe. Exactly. She is a typical L.A. Jew.

It’s pretty much impossible to get through their paradigms. They are so sure their do-gooder ideas are what is best for the world. They keep each other within the fold by mocking and ostracism. It works.

Picturing my extended family gathering in the San Fernando valley in a couple weeks for our Passover Seder, I know that coming out as gay would be easier than coming out a conservative. We are already “out” and get asked things like “You don’t do any of that tea party stuff?” with the same tone as if they were asking us if we really ate our own feces.

To the boyfriend in the story: what are you, stupid? RUN!!!!


80 posted on 03/23/2012 9:37:34 PM PDT by Yaelle (Santorum 2012 - he's our only hope for change at this point)
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