Needed: More "Two Cows" Jokes

Brad DeLong ^ | February 28, 2004 | Brad DeLong

[MurryMom]

Parmalat:

You had two cows. But now you don't know where they are.

Pentagon:

Donald Rumsfeld informed the Congress that he had accurate satellite intelligence about where the two cows were. But he lied.

Extropian:

You had two cows. You operate on them using nanobots. They become superintelligent and take over the farm.

Bush Economic Policy:

George W. Bush promised during the campaign that even after big tax cuts for the $300,000+a year crowd the surplus would be big enough to buy everybody two cows.

[P.O.E.]

[RichInOC]

John Kerry: I have two cows. Now where's the ketchup?
John Edwards: I have two cows. I'll see you in court.
Howard Dean: Five years ago, I had two cows. They kept falling down. I ate them anyway. And now we're going to South Dakota! and Oregon! and Washington! and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House! YEAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
Dennis Kucinich: I had two cows...but I traded them for beans and sprouts.
Al Sharpton: I have two cows...but those damn crackers promised me forty acres and a mule.

[jellybean]

WOW!!! I always knew liberals were comedically challenged (a little PC lingo just for you!). Thank you for the real-time demonstration! It's VERY effective!

[pax_et_bonum]

ping

[Lady Jag]

[steve in DC]

On Communism:

Two farmers had a discussion about the meeting on Communism that the one had attended the night before.

First farmer: You should have a try at this Communism. It will end all the problems of the world.

Second farmer: How's it work?

First farmer: Well, if someone has two cars, and his neighbor doesn't have any, then he gives his neighbor one. It helps his neighbor and evens things out.

Second farmer: So if you had two houses and I didn't have one, you'd give me one?

First farmer: Yup!

Second Faremr: If you had two tractors and I didn't have one, you'd give me one?

First farmer: Yup!

Second farmer: If you had two cows?

First farmer: Darn you, Charlie! You know I've got two cows!

[lawdude]

Crawl back under the toilet seat where you came from.

[King Prout]

Two Cows? Isn't that some kind of "warez" mirror site?

Two cows... given the preferences of the trollmaster elite, I suspect - should they win - that we shall see two cows in the White House... 'Er 'Einous Hillary the Mad and her trusty court-jester, man-at-arms, and multifunction hand(?)maiden(???) Rosie "I ate a baby" O'Donnell.

visualize the sound of slapping cellulite

(^^^stealth text, too gross for general consumption^^^)

[King Prout]

ROFL!

[trussell]

<img src="http://smilies.sofrayt.com/1/g/bluegrab.gif=>Be Gone Troll

[MaryFromMichigan]

You have a nice smile. :)

[Bon mots]

Clinton had two cows? These?...takes a couple of seconds to load...

[MaryFromMichigan]

here ya go...

[trussell]

Thanks. Really need to preview before post!!

[MaryFromMichigan]

Trolls are the new disrupters. Ashes are the oldies.

[Rebellans]

San Francisco:

You have two cows, which also happen to be your loving, committed life partners. The three of you head on over to city hall and acquire a marriage license. Mayor Newsom promptly holds a press conference in which he declares his strong commitment to bovine rights and condemns President Bush for his intolerance.

[sweetliberty]

The resident troll is still in good health I see. We were getting worried about you.

.

[MeekOneGOP]

Is this your vote November 2nd, MMom ??? ...

[sweetliberty]

LOL!

[sweetliberty]

"Or MurryParentalUnit"

Here's a scary thought....maybe her real name is Margaret.