Chain saw suicide goes wrong

AFP via News24 ^ | 06/01/05 | unknown

[flitton]

Prague - A 32-year-old Czech tried to commit suicide by cutting his throat with a chain saw but survived after the machine missed his jugular artery and got stuck in his spine, a report said on Wednesday.

This was his second suicide attempt, CTK news agency reported. He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall, it said.

The man was taken to a Prague hospital and was recovering in an intensive care unit, hospital officials said.

Family problems were the likely reason for his suicide attempts, CTK reported. His first suicide attempt came after his wife threatened to divorce him and take their daughter with her.

[thackney]

My advice to dimwit in CZ.
1. Climb to highest point on a cliff well over 100 feet tall.
2. Look down to make sure the coast is clear.
3. Jump.

I think this guy would hit a plane on the way down, only sustaining life-threating injuries.

[Slump Tester]

"Now maybe you're scared of jumpin', 'n poison makes you sick
'N you want a little attention, 'n you need it pretty quick

Don't wanna mess your face up, or we won't know if it's you
Aw, there's just so much to worry about, Now what you gonna do?

Go ahead on 'n get it over with then - Find you a bridge 'n take a jump

Just make sure you do it right the first time
('Cause nothin's worse than a Suicide Chump)

FZ 1981

[atomicpossum]

Sometimes it doesn't pay to innovate. The old tried-and-true methods are the best.

[Docbarleypop]

that is why i said "attempts", and with the knowledge of my father hanging himself, i do speak from first hand experience. Either you attempt or succeed.

[PatrickHenry]

Chainsaw suicide ping list

[Hatteras]

Dang chain brakes...

[Just Dan]

pffft.. hahahaha best pinglist ever!

[My Favorite Headache]

There are much easier ways to take care of this...a loaded gun for instance would solve this in one second. Also,laying on a train track would take care of it as well. Who the hell tries to kill themselves with a f-cking chainsaw?!?!?!

[tob2]

Poor guy needs lots of help.

[sweetliberty]

Reminds me of a movie I saw once where the guy kept trying to commit suicide and failing. The title escapes me at the moment.

[Lurker]

I really miss Frank Zappa.

L

[the_devils_advocate_666]

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
        -- Dorothy Parker

[Just Dan]

HAHAHA - read the thread then go to comment 25 - classic!

[Zacs Mom]

lolol..........you're kidding.......right?

[Bon mots]

Say it ten times fast:
Of all the saws I ever saw saw, I never saw a saw saw, like that saw saws.

[It's me]

Seems that a Higher Authority does not want him to die.

[Pagey]

"...Among the manifest attributes of God,
Let us not forget his sense of humor..."

P.J. O'Rourke

[Americanwolfsbrother]

"paging Dr. K. Dr. K. a young man needs your assistance in room 1..."

[RetiredArmy]

Time to cut this guy's gene pool also.

[OB1kNOb]

If he'da used a Stihl chainsaw it wouldn't have gotten stuck. Them's good chainsaws......