Chain saw suicide goes wrong

AFP via News24 ^ | 06/01/05 | unknown

[PatrickHenry]

There once was 32-year-old Czech,
Who applied a chainsaw to his neck,
Things were going fine,
'Til it got stuck in his spine,
Now the chainsaw's a bloody wreck.

[Frank L]

"Better off Dead"? Hilarious movie.

[sweetliberty]

Could be.

[Yo-Yo]

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...

[REFRAIN]:
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make
all our little joys relate
without that ever-present hate
but now I know that it's too late, and...
[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
so this is all I have to say.
[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
and to another give my seat
for that's the only painless feat.
[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...
[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
is it to be or not to be
and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.
...and you can do the same thing if you please.

[Old Professer]

Twilight Zone?

[VadeRetro]

Some days even the most obvious and straightforward things go wrong.

[beezdotcom]

"...He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall...."

I heard he waited a few months, tried to smother himself under a mattress, and broke his neck in the spring.

baDUMbump

[Aracelis]

Definitely NOT a method I would choose...

[Rusty Trucks]

Jesus?!!....A chainsaw?? Let him die.

[Rusty Trucks]

Jesus?!!...A chainsaw? Let the guy die already.

[Proud2BeRight]

Poor planning can often lead to failure. A fresh spark plug, air cleaner and gas coupled with sharpening the chain and the saw shouldn't have jammed.

[VadeRetro]

A man who decided to die
Gave hanging a pretty good try.
But the skinny branch broke.
Now his bad chainsaw stroke,
Means he still has to answer to "Why?"

[Aracelis]

This was his second suicide attempt, CTK news agency reported. He had earlier tried to hang himself from a tree branch but the branch snapped and he broke both legs in the fall, it said.

Reminds me of a case we had many years ago. This fellow decided to off himself with a .22, shot himself in the head, but the round simply bounced off his skull and zipped around his head under the scalp. He tried it again with the same result.

When we treated him later in the ER, he said he wasn't going to try to kill himself anymore because God must have a purpose for him in life.

I'm glad he got the point. I hope this fellow in Prague gets the same message - or at least some decent psychiatric care.

[Old Professer]

Twilight Zone's "Escape Clause?"

[ClearCase_guy]

I think this fellow is near-immortal. Witness that he knows that cutting off his head is the only way for him to die, and although he almost succeeded, "almost" is not enough to kill such a man. All I have to say is:

"There can be only one."

[Old Professer]

The chain stops when you let up on the throttle, should have used a string to tie it wide open.

[FreedomHasACost]

Not that long ago some guy survived lying on the train tracks. I think two trains went over him before the FR's got there and pulled him off.

[Manic_Episode]

I once saw a crime scene photo where a woman cut her own throat with a circular saw.
It was very effective.

[GeekDejure]

Attempts at suicide --

1. Hanging from tree limb -- failure.

2. Chainsaw on neck -- failure.

3. Reading DU -- SUCCESS !!! ;-))

[flitton]

#3 would make anyone lose the will to live!