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Conservative Christians Not Laughing at First Lady's Comedy Act (BARF ALERT!)
The Swift Report ^ | 5/2/05

Posted on 05/02/2005 8:23:14 AM PDT by areafiftyone

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To: George Smiley; Sam Cree
"The conservatives, if given free reign, would try to control the sexual and pharmaceutical aspects of peoples' lives. "

"The liberals, if given free reign, would try to control all the others."

ONLY THE SECOND STATEMENT IS TRUE.

You cannot confuse legalists with conservatives.

Liberals are P. C. legalists.

Religious Zealots are P. C. legalists.

They are flip sides of the same coin. Legalists think this way: Luke 18:11.

You will find the attitude of P.C. legalists best described in Luke 10:31-32.

You will find the attitude of conservative Christians best described in Luke 10:33-36 and 18:13.

141 posted on 05/02/2005 10:04:55 AM PDT by Matchett-PI (The DemocRAT Party is a criminal enterprise.)
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To: Littlejon

I'm a CC, too, and let me tell you this ...

A MERRY HEART DOETH LIKE MEDICINE ...

Laugh it up, everyone, Laura was a SMASH!!


142 posted on 05/02/2005 10:05:33 AM PDT by SaitLucy
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To: nmh
His wife appears to have a sense of humor. That's good. I believe she should continue to be funny but not let GW be the butt of her jokes. There are MANY things to laugh at. Pick something else.

Thank you. As far as I am concerned the "media" comprises 90% leftist who have their agenda to destroy this man. I ask you why you would attend such outings so they can ridicule & make fun of you on Monday. And who wants to hang around a bunch of liberals anyway? Since these elites all hob-nob with each other I see why Teddy Kennedy gets our EXTRA $11 Billion for what? Why NPR is still operating full throttle, Elton John & his lover get a sleep over at the WH one month after bashing Bush. Yet, this president can hob-nob with these sorts but allowing, let's say a Gary Bauer or a Tom Tancredo to be there doesn't happen. What day this week will we have another Bubba/GW photo?? How come the Washington Post has to deliver a remarkable story on Boulton & where were the so-called pubbies on this?? This "Two-Party Cartel" would have droped the judges - just as they did Pickering - if not for THE PEOPLE raising the issue & the same goes today. Let's have a day when we make fun of the Terry Morans of the world. See how these scum like it.

143 posted on 05/02/2005 10:05:43 AM PDT by Digger
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To: dominic7
From a search:

The Swift Report

"News and Views -- Before You Need Them," from satirist Deanna Swift.

About Search Results, Political Humor

144 posted on 05/02/2005 10:05:50 AM PDT by ravingnutter
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To: ravingnutter

I highly suspect that the name is a pseudonym. Futher, the real swift had talent.


145 posted on 05/02/2005 10:09:04 AM PDT by dominic7
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To: Lily4Jesus

"And I do believe she did it with excellent taste "


Some of it was cute and funny, but some of it was tasteless and inappropriate. I really like Laura, but was disappointed in some of the jokes. Overall, I don't think she did herself or her husband any favor by that comedy skit.

I guess that's why God created so many different opinions, so we all have one to use..LOL


146 posted on 05/02/2005 10:09:09 AM PDT by Proud Conservative2 (Protect America....Help stamp out gutless wonders in the Senate.)
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To: dominic7
I also found the story in the following link on their website...

White House Exploring 'Rapture' Contingency Plans

Now that story is hilarious!

And since we still have folks commenting on the original story posted here...I guess we better yell a little louder...

IT'S SATIRE Y'ALL!!!!


147 posted on 05/02/2005 10:11:05 AM PDT by ravingnutter
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To: federal

"This sounds like a George Soros funded "Christian rights group" does anyone know anything about them?"

Wouldn't surprise me one bit. The old, reverse psychology routine. Evil disguised as good.



148 posted on 05/02/2005 10:11:16 AM PDT by SunnySide (Ephes2:8 ByGraceYou'veBeenSavedThruFaithAGiftOfGodSoNoOneCanBoast)
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Comment #149 Removed by Moderator

To: ravingnutter
See #131...the Swift Report is a satire site. It is all fake.

Thank you for putting me straight on this.

It is sad that many people will not know the stuff put out by Swift Report is satire (or parody), and this will give people, as myself, a slanted opinion of the view of the REAL organization, the Traditional Values Coalition.

In the future, I'd like to see anything posted from Swift Report carry a disclaimer -- this stuff can cause harm to our cause.

150 posted on 05/02/2005 10:14:35 AM PDT by i_dont_chat
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To: dmz

Look. Laura was funny the other night.

She was also crude. The Bible admonishes us to watch our speech and not use crude speech.

Now, I fail at this regularly. But I am not on national TV and am not a national icon.

Mrs. Bush is. I am sure her writers could have come up with funny stuff w/o delving into the gutter which is where they went.

I realize this is a minority opinion on FR. 'Pod.


151 posted on 05/02/2005 10:17:44 AM PDT by sauropod (De gustibus non est disputandum)
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To: Liberty Valance

No, I'm not that familiar with Imus. It is actually a reminder to me, and anybody else who is listening, not to become like my mother and a few other people I know. ;)


152 posted on 05/02/2005 10:18:34 AM PDT by Wiser now (A bitter, sour old woman is the crowning work of the devil.)
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To: Spirited

I was referring to Ephesians 5:3-11.

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[a] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.


153 posted on 05/02/2005 10:20:27 AM PDT by sauropod (De gustibus non est disputandum)
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To: areafiftyone
[ Conservative Christians Not Laughing at First Lady's Comedy Act ]

What IS a christian.?.
What is a conservative christian.?.
What is a non-conservative christian.?.

154 posted on 05/02/2005 10:20:36 AM PDT by hosepipe (This Propaganda has been edited to include not a small amount of Hyperbole..)
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To: Brilliant

Amen! It was a joke. She was actually being supportive of her husband by going along with the gag. Many women would not have participated in such a high-profile event.

God invented puberty so he must not have wanted us to take ourselves too seriously.


155 posted on 05/02/2005 10:22:18 AM PDT by RatRipper
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To: RatRipper

Somebody should alert the Coalition for Christian Values that their name is being used in this manner.


156 posted on 05/02/2005 10:25:44 AM PDT by WVNan
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To: areafiftyone

The only complaint I have is that sex humor is for amateurs. The rest was excellent material and delivered it like a pro.


157 posted on 05/02/2005 10:27:19 AM PDT by Sensei Ern (Christian, Comedian, Husband,Opa, Dog Owner, former Cat Co-dweller, and all around good guy.)
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To: areafiftyone

Rush is talking about this story right now.


158 posted on 05/02/2005 10:28:51 AM PDT by rabidralph (My truck appreciates the rest of you driving fuel-efficient vehicles.)
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To: section9

"I will bet you dimes, dollars, to doughnuts that some of these Carrie Nation nutjobs are engaging in cornholio with members of the same sex"


So this is how you deal with those who disagree with you?

What makes you any different than the nasty, lowlife DUmmies?


159 posted on 05/02/2005 10:37:41 AM PDT by Proud Conservative2 (Protect America....Help stamp out gutless wonders in the Senate.)
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To: Matchett-PI

Matchett, could you post or link to those passages from Luke? I don't have a New Testament. Thank you.


160 posted on 05/02/2005 10:39:47 AM PDT by Sam Cree (Democrats are herd animals)
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