[Duffboy]

As a licensed cosmologist I take umbrage at the flippant remarks in this post.
My services have included some of the best minds in the universe including the Yeti, Mooseman, Al Sharpton among others. They all know a good cosmologist when they see one!

[Focault's Pendulum]

As a licensed cosmologist

I need my toenails done.....how much do you charge.

[Bernard Marx]

As a licensed cosmologist I take umbrage at the flippant remarks in this post.

Where do you buy your cosmoline? Since my local Army-Navy Store went out of business I haven't seen any.