We need an accelerator like this to find the 'conservo-neuterino' that causes Republican cojones to shrink past the event horizon of political consciousness once they're elected to DC.
LOL!
This is probably old but I saw it for the first time last week .
The new element has been named *Governmentium*.
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause
a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four
days to complete.
Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in
which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange
places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time,
since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration! This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical
Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an
element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has
half as many peons but twice as many morons."