When the boss is a jerk

If you've worked for long, you've probably had a boss or co-worker who was a complete, flaming jerk.

Maybe she always scowled as if she smelled something bad while reviewing your work. Maybe he never missed a chance to berate you in front of others.

Or he interrupted constantly when you were talking. Or sneaked up behind you at your desk. Or helped herself to your food.

Robert I. Sutton, a professor of management science and engineering at Stanford Engineering School, has heard it all while working on his recently released best seller, "The No A------ Rule."

The book grew from a piece he wrote for The Harvard Business Review in 2004 under the headline, "More Trouble than They're Worth." The piece, he said, inspired an outpouring of jerk-boss e-mails from around the world. His correspondents included the manager of a roofing company, the CEO of a money-management firm and a researcher for the Supreme Court.

Since the book came out, he said, he gets at least 15 e-mails a day from people with horrible bosses.

He argues that companies should screen for jerks as they hire and purge the bullies already in their ranks because, in almost all cases, they cost more than they contribute.

One of his other solutions may deflate anyone who works for a jerk: Leave the job.

If that's not possible, he suggests checking out emotionally. "Passion is an overrated virtue in organizational life, and indifference is an underrated virtue."

The Associated Press interviewed Sutton, who describes workplace monsters with a mild expletive, which has been changed here to "jerk." Excerpts:

Q: First, let's define who we're talking about. You define work jerks as people who pick on those beneath them and leave others feeling belittled and sapped of energy. What are some other signs?

A: To me, the main sign of someone who's a certified jerk is someone who leaves a trail of people feeling demeaned and de-energized. It tends to be more often associated with power dynamics - they kiss up to those above them and kick down those beneath them. About a third of the time, bullying is peer on peer.

Q: Since workplace jerks tend to pick on people below them, how can the victims, who usually don't have much power, fix the problem?

A: In normal organizational life, for people who have less power, the best thing is to get out. If you can't do that, try to avoid contact with the person as much as possible. You can also learn not to care.

The other thing is to find little ways to get control and fight back. One woman whose boss was always stealing her food reshaped Ex-Lax to look like candy, then her boss stole it.

My favorite story comes from a former CEO who told me about her worst board member. When he'd call and scream, she'd lean back in her chair, put her feet on the desk, put him on speakerphone, turn off the volume and do her nails. She would check in from time to time to see if he was still screaming. When he was done, she would reason with him. She put herself in a relaxed position and did something she could control - her nails.

Q: You describe ways to screen for jerks, such as Southwest Airlines Co.'s refusal to hire a pilot who was rude to a company secretary, and Virgin Group Ltd. founder Richard Branson's ruse on his reality show, in which he picked up contestants while disguised as an arthritic old driver and ejected the two who treated him poorly. How else can an organization separate the monsters from the rest?

A: In fields where there are relatively small and tight networks, people get reputations that are deserved. In my field of academia, we know each other. There are excellent scholars who are not considered because no one wants to work with them.

Q: Is there such a thing as a sick organization? Can a workplace grow jerks?

A: Some organizations are sicker than others. Exhibit One is Hollywood. I have a cousin who works in the industry. I asked her to name the nice people in Hollywood and there was this long pause, and she eventually named Steven Spielberg and Danny DeVito.

Maybe the worst occupation is doctors. Based on studies, as far as a high rate of abuse, nurses really have a brutal time. Ninety percent of nurses report six to 12 incidents of verbal and emotional abuse per year.

Q: You suggest companies perform an audit, quantifying in dollar figures how much a jerk's poor behavior costs. Then you give an example of a company that did, and figured one salesman's bad behavior had cost it $160,000 a year. Instead of firing him, the company took about $100,000 out of his bonus. Can you tell us about a company that purged its jerks instead?

A: I can't name the company, but it was a Fortune 500 retailer. As part of a turnaround, the new CEO came up with a mafia-style hit-list of 25 of the biggest jerks. He wanted to get rid of them all at once, but human resources said, "Let's get rid of them through the performance evaluation process."

The company did and my informant said you could see, even at the store level, less nastiness.

Q: One of your solutions to workplace jerks seems to be to stop hiring them. Other solutions include (one similar to) giving referees at youth soccer matches the power to "red card" abusive parents and eject them from the game, and shaming jerks when they behave poorly. What do you consider your top solution to the problem of jerky behavior?

A: First thing: I believe that some polite self-awareness helps. There's a test you can take; we put this on Guy Kawasaki's blog, http://electricpulp.com/guykawasaki/arse/.

Second, there should be consequences. People should know it's not efficient and it's going to cost them. My wife is a lawyer. She said with the more aggressive attorneys at her firm, in compensation discussions with them, the partners tell them they should cool it a little bit or it will cost them.

"I didn't just burn bridges, I exploded bridges at that company."

I did that at a job, problem was, the company was privately owned and the owners did'nt care. I was out the door anyway, so I just let them have it, face to face - did'nt accomplish anything, but I felt better!

My father taught me and my siblings a long time ago not to let abusive bosses bully you, and there's very few jobs worth it. He was the VP of a major corporation, and he knew what he was talking about. He said that it might seem impossible to find a new job, but the reality is, if you have skills, ambition, and motivation, you can replace ANY job - you just have to be willing to make the sacrifices (comfort zone, money, relocation) to make it happen.

Yelling in particular is a no no. There is NO reason to yell at anyone in a workplace, period. If anyone were to yell at me, especially if I was doing nothing wrong, I would simply pack up, tell that person's supervisor why I was leaving, and go. I always have 6 months of bills and rent in the bank for this very reason. Honestly, there is not enough money in the world to let anyone yell at me like a child - and I don't want to work for anyone who allows it.

I'm blessed, my current position is with a company that does not allow that kind of behavior, period. We got one of the office bullies (40-something know it all MBA twit) who got away with making admins cry and everyone crazy until they reorged her job out of existence, and she walked out of the building alone, everyone arranged to be elsewhere when she left. We work hard, but we respect each other, and there is no politics or BS, in our department, and we keep the gossips and drama queens from CS at arm's length. It's HEAVEN - we can focus on our jobs, not jerks and bullies and drama queens. We get results, too, we are highly regarded (not bragging, we've worked hard for recognition). We're known as the people that get things done.

A lot of companies are like dysfuntional families nowadays - and when you're hired, it's very hard to break free from your pre-assigned role in that dysfunction. Me, I quit. I left several jobs because of that dynamic, it's just not worth it. I turned down what was a dream job, with the head of the department negging me to work there, for twice my salary, because the department head was an abusive asshole. Sorry, not going there. I'll be punching him out in the parking lot within a week, and he's not worth the jail time. That company went under a year later, and as I'm in an industry where locally everyone knows each other, I heard that it was due this guy pissing off customers, and not being able to hold onto talent because he drove them away.

Like my dad said, you need to be firm about what you will put up with for 40+ hours a week when you choose an employer - and if you put up with it, you have no right to complain, because you accepted it. You either change it, or leave. Your time belongs to you, not them, and you can fire your company at will. If they don't deserve you, or treat you with the basic respect that you deserve...why work for them?

And yes, I've been broke from quitting jobs. And yes, it was worth it. And, yes, I'd do it again. My time, skills, mental health and peace of mind are worth too much to let some MBA bozo abuse it.

As a side note, the MBA is effectively destroying corporate America. Too many slack jawed idiots slide and cheat their way to them, and then go and destroy departments and morale. They generally have no real understanding of the compnay or the product/services, generally are abusive #@#@'s who care only about money and prestige, and have no real skill sets of their own, beyond interminable Powerpoint presentations that say nothing. The only MBAs worth a damn in my experience are those who go get them while working for a company for a long period of time, and STAY with the company. The ones that come in from the outside are typically useless and aren't going to stick around anyway, they generally start hitting up head hunters after a year (if that) to get more money.

Luckily, my company isn't sexy or hip, so we don't get them. :D

Kind of reminds me when I was in my first job after college. This company I worked for 5 years in Indiana, our department was a close knit group. We did a lot of things together outside such as football games and other things.

In my last year with the company, we hired this young girl. She turned out to be a real b*tch. She also worked for me. She and I didn't exactly see eye-to-eye on things and she didn't get along with other people. We had a Syrian guy in the department she despised. He was a likable guy and funny. One day, she was on the rampage and he didn't know. He walked up to her and asked her a simple question and she let him have it. It was funny how he responded. He simply said to her to quit acting childish and to show respect for herself and him by not acting like she did. She then stormed out with a few grunts and slammed the door. Hilarious to watch. A year after, I left the company and she was on maternity leave. Her date to come back was a few days after I departed for Colorado to start a new job. I left all the pertinent things from my desk on her desk and I left a nice note that if she had any questions, she can talk to XXXX - the Syrian guy. One regret, I never got to see her expression on her face when she saw the note. she left the group about a year after I moved away.

There was a guy I knew about a few years back that had the unlucky situation of working under a brand new manager (20 some-odd years old, female, too much make-up, fresh off a divorce) who was an absolute control freak.

He leaned right into her almost forehead to forehead and said "Get the &%@* out of my face!!", which caused her to go even more ballistic yelling for security to come get him. He got his stuff and just walked calmly out the door before anyone had to escort him.

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