Posted on 03/26/2007 3:27:31 PM PDT by paltz
A cancer victim has accused his sister of condemning him to death by refusing to donate her bone marrow for a life-saving operation.
Father-of-three Simon Pretty is likely to die from leukaemia within months unless he receives a transplant.
His sister Helen, 43, is a perfect match but he says she has turned down the chance to save his life. Without the donation Mr Pretty – who has a rare tissue type – could be dead by the end of the year leaving his wife Jacqueline to raise their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six and Benjamin, three.
he human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire, is receiving aggressive chemotherapy in an attempt to stay alive long enough to find another donor.
What a donor has to go through Doctors have said that to have the best chance of survival he must find a match by the end of the summer.
He has already exhausted the UK bone marrow register and doctors are looking for a match from strangers on international databases.
"I am on death row," said Mr Pretty. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions.
Helen Pretty has declined to comment "We found a prayer in Rebecca’s coat which said: 'Please don’t let my daddy die from cancer'. That brought tears to my eyes."
Helen Pretty’s Cheshire home is less than ten miles away from the British Transplantation Society which campaigns to promote organ and bone marrow donation.
Her brother claims she agreed to be a donor after he was first diagnosed with the rare cancer, acute promyelocytic leukaemia, in July 2004. He went into remission but then suffered a relapse in February by which time she had changed her mind, he says.
The pair have never been close although their children are similar ages and play together.
Mr Pretty’s wife Jacqueline said: "It is appalling that Helen can stand by and watch her brother die knowing that she could do something to help him. The past few months have been hell."
Mrs Pretty approached her sister-in-law in an attempt to change her mind but lost her temper and was eventually arrested. No charge was brought.
Jacqueline Pretty said: "She opened the front door halfway and I told her that things were desperate and the children thought their daddy was going to die. She said 'Sorry, I am not doing it'. I asked her to give me a reason and she said 'I am putting my family first'.
"I explained that there were no risks involved. I was so upset and I said, 'Don’t you care if your brother dies?' She said 'It’s very sad', and smirked."
The family then received a letter from his sister’s solicitor asking them to keep their distance.
Parent governor Helen, 43, declined to comment yesterday.
She runs a private education business from her £380,00 home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, which she shares with her partner and her daughter, eight, and son, three.
Mr Pretty, who has two masters degrees, is studying for a PhD in industrial relations while being treated in hospital.
He said: "The treatment is tough and it is tortuous to go on with, especially as it would be unnecessary had she come forward. I have had a skin full of chemotherapy and all the side effects but I have a young family and I have to keep my spirits up for them."
Mr Pretty said he hoped that his plight would highlight the lack of bone marrow donors in the UK. He added: "Some people do not have a family member who is a match, even one who will not co-operate."
A spokesman for the Anthony Nolan Trust, which has a database of potential UK bone marrow donors, said: "About 30 per cent of patients could get a match from their own family – usually siblings.
"The chance of finding a match outside of family is very small and there are never enough donors."
A less than exact bone marrow match has a smaller chance of beating the cancer.
Trust chief executive Dr Steve McEwan added: "As with any medical procedure there are risks. However, we are not aware of long-term side effects of the process of donating bone marrow. Donors describe it as a very positive experience."
Smirking is acceptable sometimes.
In his case, I say let nature take its course, the sooner the better.
Excellent example.
Oh...and I might...maybe...even smirk a little.
I told mine that I'm signed up to be an organ donor, and would like it if she were too, but would respect her decision either way.
She decided not to.
"Excellent example." Actually, OBL or not, there is a huge, or is that "hugh", difference between donating a vital organ which puts yourself at potential risk (if your remaining kidney fails) and donating marrow which regenerates itself.
Hmmmmmm, you could go into a life of crime. Your blood DNA doesn't match your body DNA...
Okay, now for a real moral test. If you were a perfect match, would you donate bone marrow to save Hillary?
You scare me.
I can only hope I am never a match for any DNA database for involuntary organ/cell donation that involves you.
And BTW, "She" isn't "murdering" anyone.
Anymore than I would be murdering you, if you happened to require a kidney transplant, I was the sole exact genetic match, and I refused to donate one of my kidneys to you.
Thank you. At some level, it always gets a little fuzzy.
"COMA", the Movie comes to mind...ever watched it? Scary thought, for it is so very doable, if the system is deregulated and the free market is set loose.
Be careful what you wish for...it just might come true and bite you in the butt!
Not bad at all...slight pain and no recovery time. You could donate bone marrow in the AM and play a good LAX game in the afternoon.
> I was just thinking that if your question was put to a Battlestar Gallactica fan last night, say around...7:30, what kind of replies you might have received?
(grin!) Your Humor switch detected and acknowledged and Respected -- semi-serious response follows:
I'm old enough to remember the original Battlestar Gallactica, and I've met Lucy Lawless already in person (the former experience was completely forgettable, the latter experience absolutely definitely unforgettable).
So the real question is would I have missed meeting Ms Lawless for a chance at saving a life? Yup, definitely and in a heartbeat: she's a Kiwi and she'd understand, guaranteed. She'd just have to re-schedule her appointment and rejoin the queue, just like everyone else... ;-)
> Would I have missed it to save a life? I....I'll get back to ya...
Yuh, I suspect if push-came-to-shove, you actually *would*, even if it meant missing Battlestar Gallactica and given the right opportunity. Saving lives in Real Life becomes addictive after the first couple times...
Real Life is addictive -- trust me! Me, I'm a Junkie of Real Life. Any chance, every opportunity. There is nothing -- absolutely nothing -- that beats the adrenalyne rush that arrives with saving someone's life. Like all addictive experiences, "the first one is free". Unlike most other addictive experiences, so is the second one, and the third one, and the fourth one...
The amazing thing is: anyone and everyone can do it, in some way, easily. Few people do. Now *that* is truly amazing! Bone Marrow, Blood, Organ donation -- those are easy-peasy and lo-risk-hi-impact opportunities. First Aid training, too: takes a couple evenings max and a couple hundred bucks. First multi-car pileup or other serious accident you experience thereafter more than returns the investment in time and effort.
Get 'em breathing again under their own steam and WHAT AN AMAZING RUSH! It lasts a very long time: months -- years even. Then go melt quietly into the background and be anonymous again -- that's the best of all! NOBODY KNOWS! You can be like Clark Kent and live a Superhero life if you want. I do.
Doctors, Nurses, Firemen, Ambulance guys, Police, Lifeguards -- they do this as a matter of course, every day. It's a quietly held Monopoly. I say let's open up the Lifesaving Market to all!
You see, we *are* our Brother's Keepers. We are *supposed* to do things like that: we have evolved over many millions of years to Actually Give a Dam'n -- as a result our species survives and flourishes. It's an intrinsic part of being Human, it is wired right into our DNA. That is why our Species has continued to evolve, whereas T.Rex has not.
Sadly over time our species is somehow conditioning itself to ignore this very basic, hi-reward, instinct. B*ggered if I can understand why this might be. I'd like to think that this is a reversable trend.
Could it be the "Battlestar Gallactica" syndrome? Crikey, whodathunkit??
Anyrate, technology is a wonderful thing: they have TVs in hospitals these days ay. You can have the best of both worlds. TiVo makes a good backup plan, as does your VCR...
If worse comes to worst, there's always the boxed Battlestar Gallactica set -- and you *know* that there inevitably will be one -- should be available in Wal*Mart say anyday now I reckon...
My open offer is still good to this guy, and indeed to anyone who needs my bone marrow. I can faithfully promise that I'll get at least as much out of it as they will!
...and I won't charge them a cent!
Cheers
*DieHard*
Fortunately, that is usually at the level where it goes from being concrete to...well...almost completely hypothetical.
Watch. Now that I've said that, I'll get the call tomorrow. Ha!
Seems to me it would be the opposite. It is the shortage, due to price controls, that gives people the incentive to do illegal things to get an organ.
Or me!
My brother and I are estranged...my choice because he's a lying thieving creep...but even so, if he or his children were in a situation like this gentleman, I would donate whatever they needed to save a life. I refuse to dishonor my parents by behaving any other way.
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