[Fudd]

I was watching TV one night, heard a noise at my front door, looked thru the peephole to see some scumbag trying to pick my deadbolt. Got my shotgun, whipped the door open, aimed the shotgun at the guy and then laughed as the man’s eyes widened and he ran like a rabbit down the steps! Until police resopnse in my city is that quick, I’ll keep my weapons, thank you very much!

Just imagine the terror in that thug's eyes if you had whipped the door open and shook your windchimes at him!

[NRA1995]

Just imagine the terror in that thug's eyes if you had whipped the door open and shook your windchimes at him!

Or if I'd shown him my cactus plant!

[Armedanddangerous]

But what if you hit him with your prickly pear cactus?

That would have been bad!