The next service pack will contain a self-destruct sequence for all XP Operating Systems that will cause them to cease functioning after 2010.
Oh, the disloyalty of Microsoft customers, not upgrading to Vista the way they were told to. Lousy ingrates, after MS gave them flying children and forests sprouting in their living rooms.
Be happy to get a fancy, flying new laptop, if MS would be happy to fund it. Just put Ubuntu on my Dell Inspiron B130. Does everything I need to do.