You mentioned “running for mayor” of the Vineyard. Why do you think people are so drawn to you?
They’re drawn to my sexy red tricycle. And the secret is my bell. Anyone who passes me on the bike path gets the bell treatment, especially beautiful women, and that bell is just irresistible. I’m sorry that there’s only one in the world, and God gave it to me. The bike shop only had one, and they’ve never had another. The tones are just magical.
From the original article