A Primer on Global Warming: Dispelling Myths

[Each month, Heartland Institute Science Director Jay Lehr, Ph.D. presents evidence that mankind has no significant impact on the Earth’s climate.—Ed.]

The National Aeronautic and Space Agency (NASA) has determined Mars, Pluto, Jupiter, and the largest moon of Neptune warmed at the same time the Earth recently warmed.

Two hundred million years ago, when dinosaurs walked the Earth, the average carbon dioxide concentration in the atmosphere was 1800 ppm, five times higher than today.

All four major global temperature-tracking outlets (Hadley UK, NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, University of Alabama-Huntsville, and Remote Sensing Systems Santa Rosa) have released updated information showing in 2007 global cooling ranged from 0.65 degrees C to 0.75 degrees C, a value large enough to erase nearly all the global warming recorded over the past 100 years. This occurred in a single year.

NASA satellites measuring global temperatures found 2008 to be the coldest year since 2000 and the 14th coldest of the past 30 years.

U.S. climate monitoring stations on the planet’s surface show less cooling, but most of the 1,221 temperature stations are located near human sources of heat (exhaust fans, air conditioning units, hot rooftops, asphalt parking lots, and so forth). The land-based temperature record is unreliable.

Although we hear much about one or another melting glacier, a recent study of 246 glaciers around the world between 1946 and 1995 indicated an overall balance between those that are losing ice, gaining ice, and remaining in equilibrium.

On May 1, 2007 National Geographic magazine reported the snows on Mt. Kilimanjaro were shrinking as a result of lower precipitation, not a warming trend.

The overall polar bear population has increased from about 5,000 in the 1960s to 25,000 today, and the only two subpopulations in decline are in areas where it has been getting colder over the past 50 years. Polar bears have survived long periods of time when the Arctic was much warmer than today. Yet alarmists say the bears cannot survive this present warming without help from government regulators.

I hope to see this type of description of Anthropogenic Global Warming in a future encyclopedia:

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Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW): The religious cult that took root in the late 20th and early 21st centuries that believed the only way to save the earth from burning up due to a trace gas in its atmosphere was to destroy all western economies by increasing taxes on business and individuals and destroying their way of life. The primary adherents to the AGW philosophy were found in the political, scientific, liberal, drug-abusing and environmental whack-job portions of western societies.

Proponents of AGW habitually referred to opponents as "deniers" and "flat-earthers." Their religious observance of AGW called for wasting taxpayer money, driving vehicles smaller than a breadbox, eating granola and having their AGW leaders travel the planet by gas-guzzling jet and SUV to tell others they needed to change their lifestyle to one of abject poverty.

Total destruction of western civilization was barely avoided as the sun went into a prolonged minimum in the early part of the 21st century and obvious cooling occurred with its primary effect being reduced food production.

The reduction in food production had two main deleterious effects on the AGW movement:

1) Many AGW proponents decided eating was better than turning the planet into a snowball, and

2) Al Gore lost a ton of weight.

The scientific community's reputation was damaged for many years due to their blindness to the facts and their efforts to ensure their scientific studies supported the AGW mantra in spite of the available evidence to the contrary.

In 2013, a new US Presidential administration, realizing the obvious fact that CO2 had no empirically measurable effect on climate, cut off the enormous flow of wasted taxpayer dollars being funneled into climate studies and re-directed those funds to other scientific endeavors that produced actual economic, industrial and social benefits for mankind.

In 2014, the US Congress passed a law forbidding the common practice in the scientific community of reading cow and bear entrails to divine the earth's climate hundreds of years in the future.

Later that decade, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences belatedly rescinded Al Gore's Oscar and apologized for the obvious political reasons for having presented the award in the first place.

Food wars and riots ultimately led the Nobel Prize Committee to likewise rescind Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize. Announcing the nullification of Al Gore's Peace Prize, the Nobel Prize Committee's formal statement regretted that they had ever considered giving the Prize to "that big fat tub of lard."

Al Gore received the news of his awards being rescinded from his jail cell, where he was incarcerated due to his fraudulent carbon credit scheme. He ultimately went insane and died trying to eat his way out of his jail cell. Per his instructions, his bloated naked body was not cremated but instead was marinated in soy sauce, stuffed with crab meat, wrapped in lettuce leaves and left on a compost pile somewhere in the Tennessee woods to await its slow recovery by Mother Earth. Most of his surviving family members have gone into hiding or changed their names.

In the late 2020's, it was still common for meteorologists to get next week's weather report woefully wrong, however, most have given up the practice of predicting the weather 200 years hence.

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