Posted on 03/11/2002 4:44:41 AM PST by Caleb1411
The Governor's Residence, a nice, stately old pile of bricks but nothing special by the standards of Summit Avenue, is now threatened to be closed down by Gov. Turnbuckle, who is pouting. It is a toss-up which is more predictable, the governor pouting or the Governor's Residence playing into the news in routinely insignificant ways.
Because legislators overrode the governor's veto of a budget bill, he has been looking for ways to save money and has come up with the not-very-novel idea of closing the official state house. As part of the budget cuts, $175,000 was trimmed from the governor's security detail budget. That will not wash with this governor, who keeps a flying wing of armed sidekicks with him at all times to protect the people of Minnesota from their chief executive.
With his head shaking like a bobble doll, the governor deigned to actually visit a legislator the other day, Dean Johnson, and told him that he was shutting down the residence in an effort to recover the money trimmed from his protection fund. Among his many incredible distinctions is the distinction that our sitting governor is the most security-conscious governor of all time. This was true long before Sept. 11, but he has really stepped up the security angle since the war on terrorism began. You would think that al-Qaida thugs are working in disguise to do the snow plowing and the hedge trimming at the old Irvine estate, with the governor peeking out from behind the curtains.
I'm not at all suggesting that the governor does not need or deserve protection, or that we don't, but there is another distinction. Actually, it's more like irony. Turnbuckle is the largest, strongest, most powerful governor in state history and yet he has promoted his security detail in ways that all the puny governors before him never even considered. The puny governors just seemed to go on about their business. I suppose there were security guys around, but they seemed to blend into the background and you never noticed them. One time I got on an elevator with Arne Carlson at the St. Paul Athletic Club. What Arne lacked in social graces — he was not exactly the life of the party — he made up for in apparent bravery. I don't remember any guys with him. I don't remember any guys with Rudy Perpich.
Turnbuckle has two main guys, Ron and Tony. They are always with him and they are always packing. I guess it is to keep Ron and Tony fed and armed that the governor has decided to close the residence.
Well, he's the governor and he can do what he wants with the house. I have another idea. This house is more trouble than it is worth. The taxpayers are paying about half a million dollars a year to operate it. It has a staff.
When some foreign leader arrives here or a movie star wants to take a meeting the governor entertains them in the state house, and once in a while the kids are allowed to bang on the door for Christmas cookies or Halloween candy, but that's about it.
Usually the house is just a political pawn, with this governor complaining about the leaky roof or that governor complaining that it just doesn't suit his style. Fine. Let's end it. It's not as though we are electing people who run for the job to get a roof over their heads. Turnbuckle has a ranch in Maple Grove he would prefer to hang around anyway.
In today's real estate market a Summit Avenue house the size of the Governor's Residence might fetch $2 or $3 million.
That's enough money to fund Turnbuckle's security wishes with more than enough left over to fund regular security when we get back to electing a puny guy, which could be as soon as November.
At least Jesse "the Overly Cautious" Ventura. If we sell the governor's residence, the "al-Qaida thugs [who] are working in disguise to do the snow plowing and the hedge trimming at the old Irvine estate" will certainly have one less venue from which to menace the big guy.
Since he's such an entrepreneur, maybe we should permit him to make his own security arrangements. He might be able to find a dozen out-of-work WWF grapplers who'd defend him, all at a cost that would be under the legislature's current salary cap.
A fair comment. Even if Jesse has denigrated opponents with epithets like "big fat load," (applied to Darrell McKigney of the Minnesota Family Association) media turnabout may not be fair play, as you've noted. The premise of Soucheray's column -- that Jesse's security demands (far above those of his predecessors) may not be grounded in reality -- does merit consideration, I think.
Although I think the "Governor Turnbuckle" appellation has a satirical flair, I winced at the gratuitous "bobblehead doll" shot.
Unfortunately for him, Jesse's probably reaping the enmity he has sowed. When he disparaged even the benign and principled disagreements with his positions as emanating from "media jackals" (the "media jackal" press passes weren't his brightest idea, either, no matter how earnestly he tried to pass the idea off as har-de-har satire), he should have figured he'd be a target for a little contemptuous treatment by those he'd scorned.
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