Posted on 05/17/2002 5:57:41 PM PDT by What Is Ain't
LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - At the end of his opening monologue on Friday's "Politically Incorrect," host Bill Maher says "We'll be on for another six weeks."
Just in case, though, he got some things off his chest Friday (May 17), blistering as many sacrosanct beliefs as he could in a manifesto that also served as an explanation for why the show has been cancelled and a broadside directed at his network bosses.
Maher says that since the word of "Politically Incorrect's" cancellation came earlier this week, a number of people have asked why ABC is letting him go.
"Folks, let me sum it up for you: I think religion is bad and drugs are good," Maher says. "I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting."
"Politically Incorrect," which moved to ABC from Comedy Central in 1997, will ultimately be replaced by a talk show to be hosted by "The Man Show's" Jimmy Kimmel. Until Kimmel's show debuts in January, "Nightline" will expand to fill the midnight-12:30 spot now held by "PI."
The demise of "Politically Incorrect" can probably be traced to comments Maher made in one of his first shows after Sept. 11. He took issue with President Bush labeling the hijackers' suicide attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon as "cowardly acts."
"We have been the cowards, lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away," Maher said. "That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building -- say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."
His comments caused several advertisers to pull their sponsorship, and he issued an apology several days later, saying he was directing his comments toward politicians, not soldiers.
"Politically Incorrect" airs at midnight ET. Here's the full text of Maher's monologue from Friday:
"Before we begin the discussion tonight, I would just like to take a moment at the top of the show to say to everyone who's contacted me in the last few days, people I know and people I'd never met but feel like I know -- thank you -- for your kindnesses, your support, and in one case, a hooker, but I sent her back because one, I don't use hookers, and two, it turned out we were both with the same agency. But it's the thought that counts, and on that note, I'd also like to thank ABC for the tote bag.
" One comment I've heard repeatedly in the last few days in, ah, bars and public libraries -- OK, not public libraries -- but in bars, where you get some honesty because drunks are honest, is: Now that you're free, why don't you run for office? Which, coming from television, I can't figure out if they mean that as a step up for me - or more like, 'Hey, man, you can always be a congressman.'
"Anyway, the comment makes me laugh because I truly believe of all the people in the whole country who could not win an election, I am very near the top of the list. Somewhere between Father Geoghan and Al Gore. And the reason is, I have at one time or another, insulted everybody - and I'm proud of that. Politically incorrect means not political, not like a politician, and to give you an idea how unlike a politician I am, I don't even have a wife to cheat on.
" So when people say, why don't you run for office? Or, why'd you get fired? Folks, let me sum it up for you: I think religion is bad and drugs are good. I think America causes cancer, longevity is less important than fun, and young people should be discouraged from voting.
"I think stereotypes are true, abstinence is a perversion, Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's and there's nothing sexy about being old or pregnant.
" I think September 11th changed nothing, and if I had known the onset of war would add 100 points to George Bush's IQ, I would have started one.
"I think pornography stops rape, AIDS ribbons are stupid, and flag burning makes me feel patriotic.
" I think death is not the worst thing that can happen to you, people have too much self-esteem, and being drunk is funny. I think children are not innocent, God doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a Republican.
"I'm for Mad Cow disease and against suing tobacco companies.
" I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.
"We'll be on for another six weeks."
False, false (drugs are morally neutral, neither good or bad), false, true, and true
"I think stereotypes are true, abstinence is a perversion, Bush's lies are worse than Clinton's and there's nothing sexy about being old or pregnant.
True, true (people should be encouraged to marry earlier), false, and true.
" I think September 11th changed nothing, and if I had known the onset of war would add 100 points to George Bush's IQ, I would have started one.
False, and just plain stupid.
"I think pornography stops rape, AIDS ribbons are stupid, and flag burning makes me feel patriotic.
False, true, and false (true, however if it's a muslim doing it, because then I know we are doing something right).
" I think death is not the worst thing that can happen to you, people have too much self-esteem, and being drunk is funny. I think children are not innocent, God doesn't write books, and Jesus wasn't a Republican.
True, true, true, false, false, and of course, just being stupid again.
"I'm for Mad Cow disease and against suing tobacco companies.
Idiotic, and true.
" I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.
True, false (I always take people at face value. If someone tell me something, I give them the benefit of the doubt), sometimes, true, and VERY true.
I give Bill about 12 reasonably correct statements out of about 26. He bats less than 500 in my book. But he's an ass, so I can't stand him anytime.
Having said that, I don't see him as a lunatic. He's a shock host, and annoys me within minutes of turning on his show, but the point remains. Whatever takes his place will be LESS critical of the creeping do-gooderization of America. Liberalism will be HELPED, not HURT, because of the show's demise. Not that it'll make a dime's worth of difference.
His ability to hit-and-miss so wildly, so often, made him the enemy of the left-wing on plenty of occassions.
Because you're a lying misguided asshole, Bill.....
True, Bill, if you're talking about aspirin factories and empty tents. Otherwise, it's smart. I suppose you think taking unnecessary casualties is brave. No, it's stupid. It's about making the other poor ba$tard die for his country.
Wrongo...a void is a lot more intelligent.
He's definitely libertarian. To the bone.
I agree,but you and I are likely to be lonely on this thread. FR has become the haven of group-think.
I don't think religion is bad,I think it is evil. Having said that,I also suspect I'm several steps to the right of you.
Up close and personal like!
Has anyone ever summed up the Libertarian philosophy better than that? Maybe now with time on his hands he can work more closely with the Libertarian Party and help get the message out.
LOL...
He so believes that he is a martyr! HAHAHAHAHA...
That's how delusional this twit is....he actually does believe that he is somehow the Joan of Arc of nightly talk.
It's all a conspiracy to keep him down...now.
ROTFLMTO!
What a drip.
I would absolutely love to hear him debate one on one with someone competent as opposed to stacking the deck with others nonstarters and interjecting lame jokes when anything of substance fights its way to the surface.
I cant think of anyone else I wanted to see die a slow vain death on National TV then this 5'1" pasty-white goofball...all while his bitter vitriol gets darker. I promise his tirades will only increase in delusional crapidity as the final sweet moments approach.
Revenge is a dish best served as a pink slip.
SEE YA!
LOL.....
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