GO AVALANCHE!
Posted on 05/18/2002 4:34:50 AM PDT by Clive
Yes, I made the decision to go into the family room - but I swear it was only to ask my father to turn down the volume on the television! It was turned up so loud it seemed as though we were actually in the Air Canada Centre for the hockey game.
This was Tuesday, the night of Game 7 in the Toronto-Ottawa playoff series. But as a non-fan, I was more intrigued by the fact it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer night - the episode in which Willow would finally be turning to the use of dark magic. I had to prioritize, people!
So when Buffy's soundtrack on my TV was constantly being interrupted by the sound of cheering fans and shrieking announcers blasting out of the family room, I went down to stand my ground - that's all it was, I swear!
I should have been more careful. I should have realized that, in recent days, I had been displaying strange symptoms. Where before there was only ignorance, now I was suddenly aware not only of the names of Leaf players - but of their injuries as well!
OSMOSIS LEARNING
I recognized these as facts acquired by osmosis, unconsciously gleaned in bits and pieces and patched together from the endless media coverage of the playoffs. But that didn't make it any less disturbing to realize there were now corners of my brain filled up with sports facts! (This from a girl whose only real connection to hockey occurs when I'm cursing the extra traffic a game causes on the Gardiner Expressway.)
Never being a sports fan, I was delighted when, in 10th grade, our class was taught Noam Chomsky's theory that organized sports are merely a ruse to distract the attention of the masses from the truly important issues of government - it sounded like a more intellectual argument against sports than simply finding them boring.
But everything I had once believed in was shaken when I walked into that family room to ask my father to turn the game down and saw my mother - my mother! - whom I had believed to be as oblivious about hockey as I, sitting next to him on the couch watching the game.
For a moment, I just stood gaping, waiting for her to reach for the converter or to pull out a book or to attempt to convince my father to change the channel. She did not. Instead, she began to speak a strange, disturbing language that was alien to me:
"Oh, come on you guys!" (She was talking to the players on the television!) Then she turned to my father: "They're just not being offensive enough!"
With those words, everything I thought I knew about the proper order of the universe was turned on its ear. I began to panic. I realized that, if my mother could be sucked in, then I too was in danger!
INEXPLICABLY DRAWN
It was while turning to flee that I made the fatal mistake: I looked at the screen and saw the Leafs were leading Ottawa by a goal. Even as my mind screamed to return to Buffy I was being inexplicably drawn toward the vacant spot on the couch next to my mother. I was lost. Before I knew it I was asking the questions of a novice who actually wants to learn about the game!
I learned about penalties and icing and power plays and what all of those lines on the ice are for. I actually joined my folks in cheering when the Leafs scored, terrifying the poor family dog who is unaccustomed to such displays of sports-related excitement in the Sa household. When it was all over, I was even overcome with the urge to hop in my car and begin honking the horn.
It's happened: I, like so many of you out there, have become a fair-weather fan. Okay, fine, so I'll watch the games, but I refuse to go crazy! This is only a playoff thing, a passing fancy. I must resist the urge to buy a jersey or to plaster my skin with fake Leafs tattoos or to attach one of those team flags to the window of my car.
Must resist ... urge to ... ARGH! Oh, what the hell: Go Leafs Go!
ive been a leafs fan for years THERES NO SHAME GO WINGS AND LEAFS!
A week ago Cherry was ragging on Mogilny for being a typical soft Euro hockey player. Wonder what ol' Don thinks about him now? Tucker's injury was poetic justice though after what he did to Peca. The Leafs can't complain about cheap shots. Also, can a one-handed goalie take them to the promised land?
2 things ...one...you GOTTA love cherry i love that guy he is the best hockey purist ive seen and his comments are hilarious...and can joseph win the cup...if the wings dont make it god forbid...this fellow goalie thinks he can!
GO AVALANCHE!
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