Free Republic

Comes the time on your flight to Hawaii where they ask you that all important question. “Is it faster by bus or by Schenectady?” No. A good question, though. “Are you trying to bring fruit into Hawaii?” There are a lot of things that I worry about. Like, “I wonder if the dogs ate the dog sitter?” “If Joy Behar talked in a forest, and no one was there, would a tree fall over from the stupid?” “How do chickens kiss?” You know, big important stuff. I have never worried about being called a “mule” for the big fruit cartels,...

We decided (by “We” I mean my wife) that we should celebrate our Son’s big achievement. He got out of bed before noon. No. He graduated. I know. We were all kind of surprised. We needed an appropriate reward, but Miss Oregon was already taken, so we thought a trip would be nice. Yeah. A good trip. A trip to the big luau. That’s right. Seattle. Turns out the whole city was booked up. They were having a coffee stirrers convention or something. You know, I applied for one of those, what do they call them, bannisters, job. You know....stirring...

Before leaving Washington for more than two weeks in the Hawaiian sun, President Obama was briefed Tuesday on the possibility of terrorist threats during the holiday season. The president met with his national security team on Tuesday to discuss possible dangers, White House press secretary Josh Earnest said. Fears of a terror attack have intensified in recent days following the release of a Senate report detailing the CIA's harsh interrogation practices during the Bush administration. Those anxieties intensified after an a gunman took hostages at a downtown Sydney cafe. Two people and the gunman, and Iranian refugee, died as Australian...