Free Republic

TALLAHASSEE, FL —Florida Governor Ron DeSantis stirred up controversy this week after he proposed allocating state funds to grow his own personal army of Uruk-Hai orc warriors. "Frankly, the federal government is terrible at everything, including the Army, which has been taken over by wimpy-dimpy pink-haired SJWs," said DeSantis. "It's time for Florida to breed its own Uruk-Hai force." DeSantis touted the many uses of a personal Uruk-Hai army, such as helping with hurricane relief, monitoring the polls on election day, and making sure public schools aren't making kids wear masks. "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed every CNN anchor while breaking the story...

Sen. John McCain said Sunday that the potentially powerful Hispanic vote in the upcoming presidential election remains "up for grabs" because neither President Barack Obama nor Republicans have convinced these voters that they are on their side. The one-time GOP presidential hopeful, whose own 2008 candidacy was shaped in part by immigration, said that large Hispanic populations in his home state of Arizona and elsewhere are listening carefully to what Republican candidates have to say on immigration and could become a "major factor" in 2012. "I think that the Republican Party has to discuss this issue in as humane way...

Real orcs don't do windows While doing some research on the Uruk-hai, I came across an interesting fact: there were no Uruk-hai when Tolkien first wrote the chapter which introduced them. He hadn't conceived of them by that point. The original title for the chapter was "An Orc-raid".Well, that doesn't sound very exciting, does it? In fact, by the time Tolkien had reached this point in the story, Uruks (much less Uruk-hai) had yet to appear.Hang on, as Harry Potter might say. Let's back up a bit, and start over.While most people know that "orc" rarely occurs in The Hobbit...