Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built

The Onion ^ | 05/29/02

[sheltonmac]

Twins/Vikings BUMP.

[Sawdring]

Let the Twins and Vikings leave, the people of Minnesota don't want another stadium built.

[Big Dan]

Don't let Ventura see this, I'm not sure he can tell it's just a joke....

[ArneFufkin]

Vikings/Twins bump.

I hate to ruin the MN fellowship on this thread, but I'm a Packers' fan. ;>( Nonetheless, the posturing by politicians and the operators of Professional sports leagues - to disband the Twins franchise or move the Vikings to LA - is an insult to the folks up here. They know it, and they're telling the fat cats and bullying pols to "stick it".

Stadiums are boondoggles, and increasingly taxpayers are rejecting their forced involvement in the funding. Even if I pay a levy to build a new Twins park or Vikings stadium - just because I'm a resident of Hennepin County - I still can't get in unless I have a ticket. The Packers went to the taxpayers and received $250 million to renovate Lambeau Field. Even in that one-horse town, the special tax referendum only received 56% support of Brown County voters. Folks know they are getting jobbed - most Brown County residents will never have the opportunity to see a game in the new Lambeau Field they are funding.

Minneapolis has too many large-money ticket entertainment options right now. It has the equivalent of 7 major league (as far as ticket pricing) teams ... the Twins, Vikings, Wolves, Wild, and the Gopher football, basketball and hockey clubs. It has the Guthrie, Ordway and Orpheum theatres. It has the MN Zoo, Valleyfair, Canterbury Downs racetrack, Indian Casinos, myriad golf courses, a behemoth State Fair and countless festivals. That's too many venues chasing too few dollars. Add in the costs associated with recreational snowmobiling, fishing and boating, and the supply - especially lousy supply (i.e. Gopher football) - will far exceed demand.

Miller Park in Milwaukee is facing the largest decrease in attendance in the year following the opening of a new stadium this year ... they are on pace to be nearly 1,000,000 fans short of the 2.9 million they drew last year. The Brewers stink, and people will visit a stadium once to check it out, but it's the team that puts "asses in seats". A new stadium isn't a panacea to solve baseball's ills. The Yankees have a $120 million payroll, the Twins are at $35 million. The Yankees have been in 5 of the last 6 World Series'. The Twins teams that won Championships in 87 and 91 could never keep that nucleus of Hrbek, Harper, Puckett, Gaetti, Knoblauch, Mack, Bush and Gagne together for 7 years in today's baseball economic climate.

Stadiums are boondoggles. Unlike roads, courts, police, fire, libraries etc., they can't be used equally by all the taxpaying citizens. If a new stadium is a good buisiness investment, a vital business investment, for the owners of pro sports franchises ... they can raise capital the same way every other business does when investments in critical plant and equipment expansions are warranted - stock and bond sales, debt instruments etc. It's not a good private investment. It's a scam.

[ArneFufkin]

Here are four of my Onion favorites:

For the Bill Gates "fans" on FR

This one is painfully true

Subject of much Freeper angst

FR Libertarians are right!

[ArneFufkin]

Last month's Spectator ran an Onion piece on its last page. They received response from a LOT of folks who didn't recognize the source or get the humor of the parody. This month's issue contained a helpful explanation that the item featured on its last page was not satire. There are people who are in a poised reactionary crouch - ready willin' and able to be offended - 24X7.

[Bob J]

On NOW at RadioFR!

6pm PDT/9pm EDT- Listen to Radio FreeRepublic live tonight, as Luis Gonzales interviews G. Edward Griffin and discusses his book 'The Creature From Jekyll Island. A Second Look At The Federal Reserve'. Find out the true nature of our monetary system and how it affects you!

Click HERE to listen LIVE while you FReep!

[Don Carlos]

"Look at British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. Respected institutions in their markets. But without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent."

(Slapping forehead) I get it! No wonder we have such a bunch of panty waists, bleeding heart cry babys, and misfits who couldn't get any decent job! New facilities are whats needed. Fancy bathrooms and concession stands and viola, a Congress worthy of respect. That seems reasonable to me!

OTOH, screw em. Let them move to BFE for all I care. Come to think of it, quite a few (Bawney comes to mind) would be right at home in BFE.

LMAO. Thanks. Onion!

[ArneFufkin]

I like Luis' guest's proposal that our paper monetary supply be directly linked to a standard based on arcane calculations somehow involving Mr. T.

I've heard the arguments suggesting the fraud of Paper currency, but have you ever been in a bar and tried to play "Liar's Poker" with South African Krugerrands? I rest my case.

[WVNan]

Arne, I truly believed this until someone pointed out the source. I believed it because it is exactly something Congress would do. I was really getting angry and totally fed up. Hehehe. OTOH, I thought Memphis would serve them right.

[ArneFufkin]

Nan, the sad truth is that the reality in our social and political envronment is becoming so bizarre that outfits like The Onion are having a harder time constructing parodies that are outrageously beyond belief.

[Valin]

You mean it's a joke? :-) Uff Da

[Valin]

I hereby give BOTH the Twins and Vikes my personal premission to build whatever kind of stadium they want, with their own money.

[WVNan]

You got that right Arne. Some days I just shake my head. Nothing really surprises me any more.

[Minnesoootan]

Football,baseball and hockey ended when the tore down the Met complex.....I've never gotten into FB and BB again,we used to drive 500 miles round trip for Vikes home games,we had season tickets....I'm coming back to hockey though,but have yet to visit the new digs,soon though,soon. I can't stand the "modern" Vikes,and I don't think Bud does either....I got a chance to ride snowmobile with him a few years back(along with Vern Gagne,Sen. Bob Lassard and Dean Barkley) we were having to much fun to talk aboot rasslin,football or politics....I got my hellmutt signed by them all,and I put it away for good!

got long winded there,basically what I wanted to say was the Twins and Vikes can go as far as I'm concerned,watching pee-wee or high school games are much more fun anyways.

The Onion writer has spoofed this perfectly,politics and professional sports,perfect combo!

[Minnesoootan]

ps: I'm suprised the Indians haven't stepped up to the stadium plate....bet they could build one with cash,right next to one of their casinos.....

[wattsmag2]

I hear Bawney Fwank is panting, make that lobbying, heavily for San Francisco.

[ArneFufkin]

I walked up to "Sharon and Jackie" during Aquatennial Days last year and told them that Minneapolis could retire all it's debt, build three new stadiums and give their oppressed citizens a tax break if they would use that Block E property they seized ... oh ... 16 years ago and built a Vegas-class Casino on the vacant hole. They could operate it, VISITORS would REALLY leave their bankroll in town, and it would be 100% voluntary "contributions". Too damned easy. They blew me off - "we're not in the addiction business" Jackie C informed me. They've got seven strip joints down there, I guess a Casino might bring in the "wrong element". I told them they were hopeless and I was quite happy I moved from their diseased little fiefdom. These creeps are all on the grease of the Prior Lake tribe - they throw money around like rice at a wedding. It's ridiculous. 1 am bar times, the Convention Center was built to attract big events, yet it's a 6 block walk from the Center to the Warehouse District, hotels, restaurants and strip joints. They are arrogant (and corrupt) incompetents running the show down there.

A casino would solve ALL Minneapolis financial woes. They are that profitable.

[Terriergal]

heh heh!

[Terriergal]

PING! heh heh.