The Class Photo that Broke a Mother’s Heart

yahoo.com ^ | June 17, 2013

[grundle]

What is wrong with this picture?

It's one of those things that you don't get, until you get it. Unless you are eternally empathetic, you look at this photo and don't see much wrong at all.

To Anne Belanger, mother of Miles, the photo is unbearable to look at.

When the class portrait for her son's Grade 2 class came home, she opened it excitedly, and immediately shoved it back in the envelope. She couldn't look at it. It broke her heart.

Anne's son, Miles, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At the age of 13 months, his parents were told that Miles would never walk, he has spent his life in a wheelchair.

Miles knows he's different than the rest of the kids, but he still tries to fit in. So there he is, on the far side of the image, neck craning as far as he can to stretch into the frame with the rest of his friends. He's beaming. It's school picture day and he's thrilled.

But the photo still broke Anne's heart. The photo was a clear example of how set apart her son is from society. Instead of a big group hug photo with Miles at the center, and classmates and teachers all around, a fully inclusive image, he was stuffed off to the side, some 3 feet away. An after thought, it seems.

[tioga]

She’s 14? OMG, when did she grow up so much?

[9YearLurker]

Back in the day of many siblings, there wasn’t a kid in America who wasn’t initiated into snowball fights without having it start with snowballs thrown at them. Learning to throw them back was learning the game.

That’s all DJ MacWoW described, but also that his MIL had the advantage of being allowed to learn and participate regularly with the other kids despite her handicap—and how that sort of treatment paid off for her through her life.

[BykrBayb]

I’m quite familiar with snowball fights. I’m also familiar with separating one child out from the group, teasing him, and pelting him with snowballs. And I’m familiar with the age old methods of teaching children to turn a bad situation to their advantage.

These parents were not asking to have their son treated different. On the contrary, they want their son to be included, not excluded. It’s really not complicated.

[BykrBayb]

When you teach your children the right lessons, they tend to put all those separate lessons together and learn the big picture. You can be proud of your sons’ respect for others. You taught them that, in a million little ways. If you had told them that disabled kids should be separated from the group until they can be just like everyone else, that’s what they would have learned.

[9YearLurker]

The kiddo was included.

It was only the obsessive focus of his mother who found the picture inadequate because the bleachers and wheelchair combined to have him not precisely as bunched in as the kids on the bleachers. IMO making a federal case out of it shows that reasonable efforts at inclusion will never be good enough for some families.

[Gabz]

She’s going to be 15 in less than 2 weeks. I have no idea where the time has gone.

[stuck_in_new_orleans]

Why? Because it makes idiots feel better if they tear down someone else. I can understand making fun of someone’s opinion but to ridicule a disabled person is pretty disgusting.

[codewizard]

> If I were the photographer I would have put him
> right in the middle in the front and have the other
> kids form a gap

IF you are a photographer, you would know that wouldn’t work.

1. it’s common practice to put wheelchairs on the side.
2. putting the chair in front would require the photog to reset his camera and lighting (not going to happen)
3. the “gap” would need to be about 5 people wide. this would cause more whining and crying about the pic, as the mother would complain of her child being singled out. (been there, here’s my t-shirt)

[cripplecreek]

I am a photographer.

[Twink]

I think you replying to this says more about your agenda than anything else. But, it’s typical of you so I’m amused :)

[Gay State Conservative]

The only thing I can take from this photo (after a quick glance) is just how tragic...heartbreaking...it can be for handicapped kids.I worked for a large,big city hospital for 20 years.We didn't have a pediatric service because there was a major pediatric hospital right next door.However,that pediatric hospital used our chemotherapy and radiation therapy facilities for their patients so it was common to see little kids being wheeled through our hallways.Whenever I saw such a kid my heart would break and I'd thank God that all I had to deal with was dead and dying 80 year olds.