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DUmmie FUnnies 09-29-05 ("Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | September 29, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/29/2005 3:34:57 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

If anyone out there has any doubts that the indictment of Tom DeLay by political hack, Ronnie Earle, is anything BUT political, they need only read this Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread. Yes, the DUmmies are joyously, and prematurely, celebrating the "downfall" of Tom Delay. However, if they investigate even a bit into Ronnie Earle, he is best known for making a complete FOOL of himself when his "case" against Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison completely COLLAPSED the moment it went to court. With a "brilliant" track record like that, one feels yet ANOTHER DUmmie Coyote moment coming. Stand by, DUmmies. The Acme Co. package is about to EXPLODE in your faces once more as the Republican Road RUnner leaves you eating his dust as he goes whirling off "BEEP! BEEP!" in the distance. As usual, the DUmmie rantings which makes NO pretense that the DeLay indictment is about anything other than politics is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward the the DUmmie "BEEP! BEEP!" moment, is in the [brackets]:

Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread

[WHOOOOOPPPPEEEE! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!!! WE HAVE NO REAL IDEA EXACTLY WHAT THE INDICTMENT IS ABOUT BUT WHO CARES!!! THIS INDICTMENT BY RONNIE EARLE WILL BE AS SOLID AS THE ONE HE HAD AGAINST KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON!!! .....oooops!]

You'll need some music

[And some party hats. Let's all celebrate NOW before Ronnie Earle's case against DeLay collapses faster than the one against Hutchison!]

Margaritas anyone???

[You will want to lace it with cyanide when you find out how quickly the Puke of Earle's phony case collapses.]

I'm thrilled..been at work all day so hadn't heard yet. Go ahead make my day..my year..this decade. Move your piece DeLay. Straight to jail do not pass Go!

[Do not pass thru court. Otherwise no straight to jail.]

Smile. Can't seem to wipe this off my face!

[That smile will soon turn into a shit-eatin' grin when you find out how fast the Puke of Earle's "case" is tossed out of court.]

A Good Start! Tom DeLay's indictment is a good start towards removing a cancre from the American body politic, but it's that--only a start. I won't count DeLay as being removed from power until he's convicted and sentenced.

[Then don't count on much.]

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
Washed my sins away (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
He washed my sins away

He taught me how (oh, He taught me how)
To wash (to wash, to wash)
Fight and pray (to fight and pray)
Fight and pray
And he taught me how to live rejoicing
yes, He did (and live rejoicing)
Oh yeah, every, every day (every, every day)
(oh yeah) Every day!

Oh happy day (oh happy day)
Oh happy day, yeah (oh happy day)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)
My sins away (oh happy day)
I'm talking about that happy day (oh happy day)

[Don't worry. You'll be back to worshipping Satan again when the DeLay "case" collapses.]

Truly orgasmic!! It feels so good!! (and we waited sooo long)

[Enjoy the Urinations of Happiness in your pants for now. It will soon turn to burning acid when you find out how quickly the Puke of Earle's case against DeLay collapses.]

Red wine, and I just smushed a cockroach in the hall.

[Yes, Red, not white, wine is recommended when dining on cockroach.]

Doin' the happy dance with my happy feet..now we need Rove, Bush and Cheney followed by Rice,Rumsfeld and the rest of the neocon-asswipes.

[Thanx for confirming for everyone reading this that the indictment is nothing BUT political.]

I'm having a celebratory soymilk White Russian

[Followed by a Draino chaser when you find out what ultimately happens to this POLITICAL indictment.]

I'm going to church this Friday and Saturday as I promised God. Here's where, The Unitarian Church, Downtown Portland OR where this conference is being held. I didn't tell God which church I'd go to if his justice was swift. I'm sure (s)he's pleased.

[Pulling the ol' bait 'n' switch on God, eh?]

Now let's all pray for Ronnie Earle that he can present up a perfect case with nowhere for the bug man to hide.

[Ronnie Earle's case will be as "perfect" as the one he dreamt up against Kay Bailey Hutchison. Hee! Hee!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; ronnieearle; tomdelay
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To: LUV W

And boom goes the dynamite!


81 posted on 09/30/2005 5:15:35 AM PDT by CSM ( It's all Bush's fault! He should have known Mayor Gumbo was a retard! - Travis McGee (9/2))
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To: cardinal4

No kidding, WTF is up with that? Yuck.


82 posted on 09/30/2005 5:41:34 AM PDT by FairfaxVA (SELECT * FROM liberals WHERE clue > 0. Zero rows returned!)
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To: varyouga

By the way, how mad is Cindy Sheehan going to be that she's being pushed out of the news again? When DeLay is cleared, do you think the liberals will claim it was all a setup to distract from Cindy Sheehan? She's kind of their "safety scandal" at this point... when the other ones tank, they can always go back to her.


83 posted on 09/30/2005 6:08:26 AM PDT by GraceCoolidge
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To: GraceCoolidge
No No. You got it all wrong.

It all started with the downing street BS. The Roberts nomination was sandwiched in between that and the Rove/Plame scandal. Then Cindy was used to cover the Rove scandal. Cindy was balanced with Karl's hurricane machine. The Delay scandal is a cover for Cindy, the Roberts confirmation and a new SC nominee.

When the Delay scandal dies, Cindy is forgotten and Bush squeezes through another SC Justice, the DUmmies will be left in a world of hurt with all their hopes destroyed by the Perfect Rovian Storm.

I really should make a flow chart for all these scandals. Following this is making MY head spin almost as much as the DUmmies.

84 posted on 09/30/2005 6:20:12 AM PDT by varyouga (Reformed Kerry voter (I know, I'm a frickin' idiot))
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To: varyouga; GraceCoolidge; PJ-Comix

But what about Gannon/Gotsch/Guckert/Gucci/Gotti/Gitmo?


85 posted on 09/30/2005 6:26:49 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (If it's not one thing, it's something else.)
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To: varyouga
And Ohio! DIEBOLD, for cryin' out loud!!! Voter-verified paper ballots! Do it for Andy!!! Kick and nominated!!!
86 posted on 09/30/2005 6:31:38 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix
"CULTURE OF CORRUPTION! CULTURE OF CORRUPTION! CULTURE OF CORRUPTION!"

Repeat talking point until it becomes a "fact."

87 posted on 09/30/2005 6:36:04 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (New Dem mantra.)
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To: PJ-Comix
"CULTURE OF CORRUPTION! CULTURE OF CORRUPTION!"

Reminds me of Gomer running through the street yelling, "CITIZEN'S ARREST! CITIZEN'S ARREST!"

88 posted on 09/30/2005 6:39:22 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (It's a Pyle of something. . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Just out of spite, I asked one of the people carrying an "Impeach Bush" sign at last weekend's rally who he thought would become President if Bush were impeached. He said he liked Edwards. I gleefully explained to him that there would not be another election, and that Vice-President Cheney would become President, then asked if he really thought Cheney would be a better president. He said, we'll impeach him too. I told him the person after Cheney was Denny Hastert, a Republican, and then Ted Stevens, ANOTHER Republican! He told me that the person after the VP was the Speaker of the House. When I pointed out that that was Denny Hastert, he stormed off, unfortunately before I could tell him he'd have to impeach his way through the entire Cabinet down to Norm Mineta to get a Democrat in the White House.


89 posted on 09/30/2005 7:33:23 AM PDT by nina0113
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To: PJ-Comix
It's fascinating that this has elicited so much quasi-religious feeling at DU.
90 posted on 09/30/2005 7:45:54 AM PDT by wideawake (God bless our brave troops and their Commander-in-Chief)
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To: wideawake; PJ-Comix
It's fascinating that this has elicited so much quasi-religious feeling at DU.

It's a DeLayed reaction.

91 posted on 09/30/2005 7:51:16 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DeLay tactics.)
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To: nina0113
unfortunately before I could tell him he'd have to impeach his way through the entire Cabinet down to Norm Mineta to get a Democrat in the White House.

Cruelty to the mentally impaired is NOT something to brag about. Fess up, you also pulled wings off flies when you were a kid, DIDN'T YOU?

92 posted on 09/30/2005 7:54:32 AM PDT by epow (Vegetarian - old Indian word for "poor shot".)
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To: PJ-Comix
Top 100? (It's Friday)

I'm going to church this Friday and Saturday as I promised God. Here's where, The Unitarian Church, Downtown Portland OR where this conference is being held. I didn't tell God which church I'd go to if his justice was swift. I'm sure (s)he's pleased.

I don't think this will work. God knows all and sees all. He is like Santa Claus, without the red suit, He knows when you've been bad or good (and who with!), He will not be pleased with you....

(But then again, most DUmmies think THEY are God....only smarter.....)

93 posted on 09/30/2005 8:42:48 AM PDT by dirtbiker (I've tried to see the liberal point of view, but I couldn't get my head that far up my a$$....)
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To: epow

And after the wings, I did their little legs, too. If you listen real close, you can hear them scream.


94 posted on 09/30/2005 12:36:11 PM PDT by nina0113
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To: Charles Henrickson

Did you get that FreepMail from me with the link to the story about a local guy who got his lyrics picked up by K-Mart?


95 posted on 09/30/2005 1:13:21 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: beckysueb

True, poor pitiful DUmmies, so in need of a hero, never finding one, crushed like cockroaches (wait, I heard that somewhere else...).

*Chorus

"We're holding out for a hero...."


96 posted on 09/30/2005 1:27:19 PM PDT by alarm rider (Irritating leftists as often as is humanly possible....)
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To: PJ-Comix
Did you get that FreepMail from me with the link to the story about a local guy who got his lyrics picked up by K-Mart?

Yes, I did, PJ. Thanks. I write parodies for fun, but of course I wouldn't mind if I got paid for them.

In November of 2000 I wrote a parody called, "The Palm Beach Pokey," that got circulated--and sometimes stolen--all over the country. Unfortunately, I didn't make a penny off it. Then in the fall of 2001 I wrote one called, "Hello Mullah, Hello Fatah (Camp Osama)," which likewise got sent around a lot. Again, no money.

My problem is not the creativity, it's the marketing. If I had an outlet that could use my songs and make money off them--a la Paul Shanklin on Rush--then I'd be in business.

That's where you might come in someday, PJ. If you ever get that book/whatever deal, and you need a resident parodist (who would get a cut of the action), I'm your man.

97 posted on 09/30/2005 1:39:41 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: PJ-Comix

The ancient Greeks said revenge was a sacred act. Obviously they weren't thinking of the Democrats; upon reflection, they would call it pointless and childish under certain circumstances.

Regards, Ivan


98 posted on 09/30/2005 1:41:28 PM PDT by MadIvan (You underestimate the power of the Dark Side - http://www.sithorder.com/)
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To: Charles Henrickson
That's where you might come in someday, PJ. If you ever get that book/whatever deal, and you need a resident parodist (who would get a cut of the action), I'm your man.

Well....I did talk to a female friend of mine who has done country music professionally. When I get the podcast kicked off, if you have any song lyrics that could be sung by a female country vocalist, I would play them if she performs them. However, you might want to think about song parodies that incorporate corporate names. BTW, that song the guy wrote was mostly about a love story taking place in K-Mart so the company could just be a backdrop to the song. Maybe a "Singing In The Train" parody on "Singing In The Rain?" Tri-Rail down here is always trying to increase their passenger service. Just a thought.

99 posted on 09/30/2005 1:56:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
I cant wait for the righteous indignation thread after he's acquitted.
100 posted on 09/30/2005 2:36:54 PM PDT by skikvt
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