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50 Things a Man Should Be Able To Do
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Posted on 07/28/2010 5:41:48 PM PDT by Kimmers

50 Things a Man Should Be Able To Do Friday, July 23, 2010, 8:00 AM Joe Carter

[Note: Every Friday on First Thoughts we host a discussion about some aspect of pop culture. Today’s theme is "Renaissance Man" lists. Have a suggestion for a topic? Send them to me at jcarter@firstthings.com.]

Every man does not need to know how to tie a bow tie. Let’s get that clear up front. I don’t know why it is on every “Things a Man Should Know How to Do” list but it’s simply not true. If you have a reason to wear a bow tie (e.g., you’re going to prom, your name is George Will) then you can ask someone or you can look it up. That’s what Google and preppie college Republican exist.

But there are some things that every man should be able to do. Here are fifty. Not necessarily the fifty most important (though some are), just fifty things a man should be able to do if he wants to live a good life.

1. Forgive your parents – They did the best they could . . . or they didn’t. Either way, you’re a man now so it’s time to move on.

2. Ask your parents to forgive you—You know what you did. They do too.

3. Change a diaper so that the baby is cleaner and you are no dirtier than when you started.

4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich maneuver.

5. Use a soldering iron to fix a loose connection.

6. Comfort a child—If you want to judge the character of a man, observe how he treats a child. He may not have any himself—he may not even like kids—but if he can provide them comfort when they are scared or hurting then he can’t be all bad.

7. Cook one signature dish.

8. Calculate square footage—Width x length.

9. Innocently flirt with a woman at least twice your age—Without causing offense or being disrespectful, of course.

10. Write three coherent, connected, and grammatically correct paragraphs—If it’s really necessary, you should be able to repeat the process well enough to add three more. Unless you have a job that requires extensive writing, that’s probably all you’ll ever need to get by.

11. Navigate your way around an unfamiliar city without getting completely and utterly lost.

12. Differentiate between various types of mortgages and insurances and know which one is best for your situation.

13. Get a prostate exam without crying.

14. Know what a prostate is.

15. Make and follow a budget so that you can get out of—and stay out of—debt.

16. Tell a spellbinding (though not necessarily true) story.

17. Survive in water for at least a few minutes without drowning– 71 percent of the earth’s surface is covered by water. You’re bound to fall into it sometime.

18. Know the four lifesaving steps—stop the bleeding, start the breathing, protect the wound, treat for shock.

19. Give a great compliment—Tip: Be specific, be sincere.

20. Tell a joke that is (a) clean, and (b) funny.

21. Make a brief, informative speech in public without having an anxiety attack and/or using PowerPoint.

22. Type with more than two fingers.

23. Know how to use the mass transit system in any city within 100 miles of his home.

24. Use reference materials to find out any information that you’ll ever need to know.

25. Recite the Ten Commandments from memory—If you remember them, it’s easier to follow them; if you follow them you’ll avoid about 90 percent of the self-inflicted damage that will screw up your life.

26. Carry on a conversation with someone who bores you to tears.

27. Recognize when you are boring someone to tears with your inane banter.

28. Make a plan for the first 24 hours after a zombie apocalypse—Sounds silly but you’d be surprised how much you can learn about yourself by thinking through unlikely scenarios.

29. Perfectly cook scrambled eggs.

30. Push-start a car with a manual transmission—By the way, as I learned in the summer of 1988, you can’t push start a car with an automatic transmission. (I still don’t know why I was stomping on the brake as if it were a clutch.)

31. Tell the difference between snark and wit.

32. Properly maintain your basic form of transportation, whether it be a car, bike, horse, feet, etc.

33. Grow food—even if you never owned a vegetable garden, you need to understand the basic theory of how to grow food. When the zombie apocalypse happens, you’re going to be hungry.

34. Make it through the rest of your life without saying the thirty-seventh dumbest sentence in the English language: “I have to learn for myself.”

35. Endure an insult with grace.

36. Wash a load of white clothes without turning everything pink.

37. Load, shoot, and clean a firearm.

38. Admit being wrong in a situation that will cost you dearly.

39. Physically protect your loved ones and be willing to risk life and limb if necessary to keep them safe.

40. Lead your family in prayer.

41. Cogently explain and defend your most fundamental beliefs, preferably without raising your voice.

42. Hug another man.

43. Take harsh criticism without being defensive.

44. Differentiate between love and lust—and avoid the latter.

45. Recognize wisdom and know how to get it.

46. Help someone who is vomiting (without throwing up yourself).

47. Write a letter of recommendation.

48. Write a love letter.

49. Avoid the Three A’s That Ruin Your Life: Anger, Adultery, Apathy.

50. Be able to list at least 50 more things a man should be able to do.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: manlist; men; weakersex
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To: gracie1
My mom had a ‘60 Falcon that could be push started.

That was my first car. I always considered it to be the American version of the Volkswagen. I really miss it to this day (if you didn't mind replacing the generator bushings every 900 miles).
81 posted on 07/28/2010 10:46:32 PM PDT by PA Engineer (Liberate America from the occupation media. There are Wars and Rumors of War.)
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To: Kimmers
4. Perform CPR and the Heimlich maneuver.

CPR is best performed at the beach. People who are stretched out on the sand and are very still tend to jump right up after the first few tries. Amazing!

The Heimlich maneuver can be performed in any restaurant but be prepared for some angry diners unless they are actually choking since all of them tend to spit up up their food if squeezed hard enough.

82 posted on 07/29/2010 2:32:21 AM PDT by count-your-change (You don't have be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: Kimmers

bfl


83 posted on 07/29/2010 3:07:01 AM PDT by Skooz (Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us)
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To: 50mm

Pedophile! You said you were 12.


84 posted on 07/29/2010 3:18:04 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: maine yankee; humblegunner; Eaker; 50mm; shibumi; Salamander; Allegra; Markos33; Larry Lucido
"Too girly for you?"

I agree.
How important are many of these ‘skills’ outside the urban enviroment.
This list should be labeled;
Metro-sexual 101

Yes, I figured if I called my FRiends, they would man it up a bit, especially Salamander and Allegra.

85 posted on 07/29/2010 3:23:27 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: Kimmers

after all this, you may get an opportunity to get a spot in a Progressive Insurance commercial with Flo...


86 posted on 07/29/2010 3:24:42 AM PDT by sit-rep
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To: TheOldLady

My birthday is February 29 so I only have a birthday every 4 years.


87 posted on 07/29/2010 3:58:18 AM PDT by 50mm (Valhalla I am coming)
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To: Eaker
...they left, “be able to out drink a Scotsman” off the list.


88 posted on 07/29/2010 4:02:18 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: Kimmers

#51 Know how to use jumper cables


89 posted on 07/29/2010 4:04:45 AM PDT by Puddleglum ("due to the record harvest, rationing will continue as usual")
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To: 50mm

The eyebrows, the hair, the moustache! That’s me! I do have a nicer fur coat though.


90 posted on 07/29/2010 4:11:56 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: CAluvdubya
42. Hug another man.

NOT!!!!!!! unless he's choking...this list was written by a women!

Not even your dad or elderly uncle? Sure ya would! :)

None of the above are alive, and I never hugged either. Men shake hands....

91 posted on 07/29/2010 4:17:00 AM PDT by MrPiper
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To: 50mm

Show me your birth certificate.


92 posted on 07/29/2010 4:31:56 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: TheOldLady; maine yankee; humblegunner; Eaker; 50mm; shibumi; Allegra; Markos33; Larry Lucido

Men.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av8F21L5AYs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhm7DMvapGA

No “list” necessary.

Sal “Hot For Herger” Amander


93 posted on 07/29/2010 4:35:09 AM PDT by Salamander (And I think I need some rest but sleeping don't come very easy in a straight white vest.)
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To: Salamander

Same director who did Die Hard, huh?


94 posted on 07/29/2010 4:39:52 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (A woman is like an artichoke; you have to do a bit of work to get to her heart ~Insp. Clouseau)
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To: Larry Lucido

You really think I bothered to read the credits?.....:))


95 posted on 07/29/2010 4:41:18 AM PDT by Salamander (And I think I need some rest but sleeping don't come very easy in a straight white vest.)
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To: annelizly
7. Back up your woman.

I know how to back up a computer. Is this like that?

96 posted on 07/29/2010 4:52:16 AM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: Salamander

Love that movie. The way Banderas’s character learned Norse particularly sticks in my mind, but the whole thing was great.


97 posted on 07/29/2010 5:03:19 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Tagline ran away from home again. It's in for it this time.)
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To: TheOldLady

Banderas was in that movie?

I reckon I didn’t notice him.

:)


98 posted on 07/29/2010 5:08:46 AM PDT by Salamander (And I think I need some rest but sleeping don't come very easy in a straight white vest.)
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To: Kimmers
There is only one on the list that I cannot do to perfection...

Innocently flirt with a woman at least twice your age—Without causing offense or being disrespectful, of course.

.....unless I visit a cemetery.

99 posted on 07/29/2010 5:16:24 AM PDT by wtc911 ("How you gonna get down that hill?")
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To: MrPiper
Fatherhood has become a jail....

Oh my, you poor, sad fool.

Note that I'm not criticizing people who don't have kids, especially if they don't like kids. But father hood a prison? That's a laugh. I have four kids, the oldest is 15 and being a dad is the best job going.

100 posted on 07/29/2010 6:46:37 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Anyone who says we need illegals to do the jobs Americans won't do has never watched "Dirty Jobs.")
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