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Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does “ABSTINENCE” mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman’s place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.
(you might watch your back)

Lol! I thoroughly enjoyed that!

My (then) 20 yo once brought a 'tat and pierce artist' to a family function as her date. When they knocked on the front door (because she knew to announce, not safe otherwise), he stuck out his tat'ed and pierced hand to shake mine.

I took it. And held it. A little longer than he was comfy with. And I explained:"I'm half lit, I'm armed, and I don't think you are right for my daughter". He 'didn't feel comfortable here'

It all worked out well. She later married a great guy that did 3 tours in the sandbox and postponed kids until married.

My newest granddaughter is less than 3 months old. ;)

/johnny

I LOVE IT :0)

dfwgator: this is a good list, but it’s missing some things from mine:

SAT score (PSAT if younger ... if too young for PSAT then no way)

Professional asirations and measurable progress to same (etc. apprenticeship, AP classes, etc.)

He has to be able to comfortably support her when she’s having my grandbabies.

That’s hysterical. LOL