Dem Says High Unemployment Will Help Party “Cruise to Victory”

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 27 April 2012 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

The normal expectation would be that high unemployment would hurt the President and his fellow Democrats come the November elections. “Not so,” says Representative Chaka Fattah (D-PA). “Every person who's unemployed or on welfare knows that it's the Democrats who will look out for them.” Fattah asserted.

“The flaw in the GOP's reasoning is the mistaken notion that putting more people to work is what voters want,” Fattah said. “What everyone wants is a paycheck. They'll work for it if they have to. But getting one without being forced to work for it is the type of total freedom that the Democratic Party has stood for the last 80 years.”

“Freedom of speech and freedom of religion get a lot of publicity, but I would guess that freedom from toil is a benefit more prized by your average American,” Fattah contended. “Our Party is the one that recognizes that. Our Party is the one voters can trust to deliver it.”

In support of his case, Fattah credited Democrats for relieving 50% of the population from paying federal income taxes. “If we add the 8% who're unemployed to the 50% who're exempt from paying taxes I think we have the makings of a Democratic landslide next November.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/110664-2012-04-27-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-29-2012.htm

[devolve]

"If I had sons they would look
like the Muslim DC Snipers!"

- Barack Hussein Obama Jr.

Lee Boyd Malvo and John Allen Muhammed

THE MUSLIM DC SNIPERS

[Caipirabob]

Dem Says High Unemployment Will Help Party “Cruise to Victory”

Hmmmm....

[jonrick46]

The way food prices are going up, we’ll all need food stamps just to buy a loaf of bread.

[from occupied ga]

The flaw in the GOP's reasoning is the mistaken notion that putting more people to work is what voters want,” Fattah said. “What everyone wants is a paycheck. They'll work for it if they have to. But getting one without being forced to work for it is the type of total freedom that the Democratic Party has stood for the last 80 years.”

Unfortunately this isn't satire.