can never go wrong with an Ithaca... 
can never go wrong with an Ithaca... I second, if the the $ was right. Oh, and make it a 12ga.
/johnny
Winchester 1300 Defender (pump, 12 gauge). Anything smaller is a waste of time, and this thing will fire reliably. 12 gauge ammo is plentiful. I keep #4 ammo at the ready for mine; about a 1 foot spread at 20 feet. Don’t use slugs/buckshot in a house unless you *want* to go through walls for some reason.
Revolver, blued (not chrome). Brand etc barely matters, just don’t buy cheap crap. Get at least a .357 if this is the extent of your gun buying and it’s only for the house/vehicle.
In either case, make sure it’s comfortable (fits your hand/shoulder/etc), and practice - a lot. Remember you’ll be using it in the dark, half asleep, probably in a panic. Needs to be second nature to load/chamber/unsafe/aim/bang.
If you’re the slightest bit uncomfortable, or entirely new to this, take a gun safety course. Apparently it helps, but I grew up with them and have never attended one.
Did you look at the Taurus Judge for a handgun? Did you pick it up and hold it? I’m just saying . .
If there’s a range nearby, you may be able to rent a few pistols at the top of your list. I don’t have one, but the Judge or the Governor are kind of a twofer that may fill both your needs.
Consider as Glock pistol.
Here's an Obama compliant longgun
Before considering firearms, be sure to have an early warning system for house intrusion. An alert dog who barks at noises is best. If dog is not practical, install alarms on vulnerable doors and windows. You can buy a cheap GE alarm for under $30 which will cover 4 doors/windows.
The last thing you want is being rudely surprised by an intruder when you are fast asleep. You will not have time to grab the gun, load it and fire it. Early warning is a must.
Consider as Glock pistol.
I'm going to go against the majority opinion you've been given and suggest the 20 gauge simply because of the criteria you've set. A 12 gauge can be hard for a woman to handle.
And since you're looking for home use I would not recommend the weapon you have pictured.
For tactical purposes (doors, hallways, stairs, etc.) a pistol grip, with or without a folding stock is, IMO, a better way to go.
As far as the neighbors and penetrations goes...how is your house built? All wood? Brick? Combo of both? Distance between them? That matters when considering ammo. The more durable the construction the greater the choice. (buckshot and bb's OK)
Pistols? Hard to give "good" advice. Anything from a .22 to a .45. A lot is dependent on the user. A small woman might not be able to handle a larger caliber so a smaller one is more practical. You get the idea. Find what is comfortable. The rounds you use can help make up the difference.
JMHO
“.45 ACPss — these latter looked to be far too large”
Too large for what?
Again, criteria:
For the shotgun, the Mossberg 500, Remington 870, Ithaca and Winchester 1300 are all reliable and low-priced shotguns. I prefer the 12ga, but the 20ga is often better for female shooters due to lower recoil. Your wife should shoot both to see what her recoil tolerance is. A 20 ga is no weakling for a home defense gun. Like others have said, #4 shot in a high-brass duck load would be devestating from across the room, but won’t go through walls with much energy left.
For a handgun there are many more choices. Revolvers are more reliable for people who don’t shoot much or don’t do maintenance on guns much. But, revolvers have more felt recoil because there is just the sudden impulse instead of being spread over the duration of a semi-auto slide operation. Also, on most revolvers there is much more muzzle flip because the hand is so much lower than the barrel than a semi-auto. Hand guns are much harder to give advice on. I would go to a range that rents guns and you and your wife should try to find something you both agree on. Many people say that you should not go smaller than 38 special in revolvers or 9mm in a semi-auto, but I think that some smaller rounds such as the revolver round .327 magnum would be good, plus you can use lower powered 32 rimmed ammo for cheaper practice and less recoil. A downside to something like the 327 magnum is that it is much less common and more expensive than something like 9mm which (usually) can be found easily. Read up on defensive and practice bullet types, but practice enough with the more expensive defense ammo to be sure it works reliably and is accurate in your gun.
Renting and borrowing is the ONLY way to go. There is just no other way of insuring fit and function. The surest way to end up with a gun collection is to buy something you never shot, find it comes up short, rinse and repeat.
I don’t think there are any bad choices today. I would just say go with a full size gun for home defense. The bigger the better - longer site radius, more capacity, less recoil for whatever round you are shooting. There is no reason to get a CCW mouse gun for home defense.
There are no bad shotguns, just name your price.
Hey Martin. Do not get a 20 gauge. If that’s what you want fine but for my money I’d rather have a 12 gauge.
It’s like shooting a .50 cal(almost).
Mossberg 12 gauge can be had at your Big5 for $275, comes with an 18.5 inch barrel and a 24”.
Great all around arm for hunting or protection.
Load the thing with slugs and it will tear off an arm or make a mighty big hole.
because of the size of the round it won’t travel far as well.
I don’t recommend 3”. Hurts like hell and you won’t fire more than a couple before giving up.
AS for the handgun, get a .45. You can shoot Jacketed Hollow Points that are 230 grain.
They too make bigger holes, particularly if you double or triple tap.
Oops.
Taurus is fine, Ruger is fine.
Smith & Wesson or Kimber are expensive and geared more toward competition and for those looking for dependability in any condition.
I have a Colt, a SW and a couple Kimbers. All .45 and all have at least ten magazines for each.
If you want, ping me in Freepmail and I’ll take you to Los Altos Gun and Rod range.
I’ll bring my brother, his son and another Freeper.
You can shoot our guns and get a feel for what you might want.
You’ll know by the end of the day.
We gotz lotz of ammo and only ask a small donation.
You’ll love Los Altos. It’s off Skyline and Highway 9 above Los Gatos.
Bestest place to shoot.
We are going next week or the following if you want to go.
Ruger 357 magnum LCR
I don't remember who posted it, but I'm glad he did because I fell in love with it right away after reading a few reviews.
Some Pros: small, easily concealable, lightweight, compact, hammerless (won't snag on your clothing when you pull it out), reliable (won't fail to feed or eject), powerful.
Cons: small -- a 357 magnum bullet won't have the muzzle velocity and energy that is advertised on the ammo box when fired out of a gun with such a short barrel. It's going to ruin your night vision if you fire it in a darkened room... lightweight polymer -- so it will kick like a mule... compact -- only holds five rounds. But Speer makes a 357 magnum round specifically designed for snub-nosed revolvers that greatly ameliorates some of those negatives.
I wouldn't rely solely on it for home defense (I also keep a loaded 12-gauge shotgun and a .45 caliber 1911 nearby while at home), but it complements those other defensive tools nicely; I can slip it in my pocket and work outside the house without feeling encumbered by a heavier weapon.