Posted on 09/03/2015 9:31:11 AM PDT by ken5050
Amidst an ever-growing scandal about her private email system, and multiple national security violations, Hillary Clinton today Tweeted that she had finally had enough of Bill's philandering ways and had filed for divorce.
"Look, he's been cheating on me for decades..ever since we first met. But I stood by my man, put up with it, because I didn't want to hurt his career. We were a good team as President...the American people needed us."
"But in 2008, Bill switched from Viagra to Cialis, and man, it was insane, crazy..like he was ready to go ALL the time. I was busy as Secretary of State, travelling all over the world the world, and wasn't home that much, so I wanted a private way to be able to communicate with Bill, and hopefully to save our marriage. I mean, Chelsea was getting married soon, and I didn't want to ruin her happiness with a messy, public divorce. The tabloids and FOX News would run it 24/7."
"So I thought if I had a way to chat with Bill privately, we could work it out. That's why I had the private email system set up. And I was so distracted, and so upset, when the pics of that whore, the "Energizer Bunny" he was schtupping in Chappaqua appeared..man..did you see the ass and rack on that little tramp? I can hardly blame him....that I didn't realize that somehow, accidentally, confidential material had somehow been sent out on my own system."
"I've asked Bill to move out of our home in Chappaqua, and I hope our lawyers can resolve this matter quickly and amicably, without any rancor. It is what it is."
"But again, I want the American people to know that I'm sorry for the small, silly mistakes I've made. I'm sure they can understand they stress and pressure I was under. I hope they'll pray for me, and forgive me. I'm going to take a few days, in private, and I hope you all will respect that, and right after Labor Day I'm going to get right back to my campaign, and fighting hard for the middle class."
When the news broke, Bill Clinton was on the golf course. When a WaPo reporter told him, his first reaction was "Huh?" Then he smiled, whistled, and said softly, almost to himself.."SON OF A BITCH! YEAH!"
Donald Trump, when he heard the report, called into every cable news show, and said the whole thing was "pure BS.".
"She's just trying to save her campaign, and keep her big butt out of jail. She wants sympathy, and to get the FBI off her ass. It's a crock. That whole thing, it's a sham marriage..I mean, come on..look at her..then look at Melania..can you even blame Bill? I could tell you what he said to me many times in private..but I won't..but maybe, I'll ask him to give $10 million to charity..and not his stinkin' foundation..for me NOT to spill the beans."
House Speaker John Boehner, who established the House Select Committee which first unearthed Hillary's secret emails, and started the investigations, was asked if he felt responsible for breaking up the Clinton's marriage.
"Hell, NO!" Boehner said emphatically. "But," he said with a smile, "Tell you what...I'll drink to her future happiness!"
smile!!!
More like: “Bill had lots of girls and wouldn’t share.”
This is satire right?
Where’s your source? Or is this satire?
better put some ice on that...
If it is true I believe strongly that it is after serious consultation with her primary political advisor on WJ CLinton.
this is not a forum to troll
We can only imagine how much sympathy THIS news item will garner her. Seems her dissembling and criminal ways are simply a problem of her genetics. The poor woman can’t help herself.
A just discovered little known fact may help to explain Hillary Clinton’s aggressive and domineering personality: She is, in fact, Adolph Hitler’s long lost daughter.
7 months before her April 30th, 1945 suicide with Adolph in the Berlin bunker, Eva Braun gave birth to little “Hildegard” Shickelgruber and arranged to have the baby smuggled across Allied lines to France. In France, the child was delivered to a kind-hearted ship’s captain. Upon landing in New Orleans, the captain personally carried the infant to the home of Eva’s second cousin, Dorte Dittlemann, in Stuttgart, Arkansas.
Psychologists theorize that Hillary’s intense dislike of — indeed, hatred for – military personnel spring from the failure of the German military of her daddy’s Third Reich – in particular Obergruppenführer Steiner – during those final days in Berlin.
That hatred manifested itself in such bizarre ways as:
Demeaning Marines in their dress blues by requiring them to serve as waiters during numerous White House dinners;
Yelling at uniform personnel in the White House if, for example, they failed to open doors for her as quickly as she thought necessary;
Making loud, sarcastic and profane/obscene remarks to uniformed – and non-uniformed – Secret Service personnel assigned to her security detail in the White House and in other public settings;
Admonishing her daughter to NOT be civil to these same security and other personnel. Her daughter, who apparently did not inherit her mother’s highly unpleasant persona, refused to comply and was generally decent to those her mother despises.
Please TRY to remember this as she lines up her mind-numbed minions for a run at the White House. Ask yourself if this INCREDIBLY UNPLEASANT woman ought to be Commander-in-Chief of the same military she so clearly detests??
am I the only wife in America who’s husband does not NEED to use Viagra, etc?.....what has happened to American men?
That’s my assumption.
A lot of people have been posting a lot of garbage that they later call satire but don’t mark as such. This is a prime example.
I think this must be satire, but if it is true, if she was that distracted and confused by her personal life, she should have resigned as SOS, rather than risk jeopardizing national security. This excuse would not excuse a thing!
The Fairy Tale is over?
“this is not a forum to troll”
Haven’t visited any of the Waco or anti-Trump threads?
This is THE forum to troll lately.
(For the record, I believe satire should still be labeled as such)
It’s BREAKING: Vanity/Satire Front Page News!!!!
I might have read something like this in a supermarket tabloid while waiting to check out. Aren’t they almost as reliable as the MSM, sometimes even more so?
They are being feminized and emasculated.
Smile?
I cant stop laughing at this display of naked ambition.
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