Free Republic

Oh Dear Lord, will this doofus NEVER stop talking? Blah blah Afghanistan, blah blah Afghanistan… Somebody PLEASE hit me with a ball-peen hammer! Oooh, if I push my fist against my lower lip like this, it hurts enough to keep me awake… Good to know… Didn’t this guy run for president and lose? Why do I have to give a fat crap what he says? Didn’t I win? I wanna be out there doin’ the hula hoop with Michelle on the lawn… Look, she’s having a great time. “Hey, Michelle! Come in here for a minute and listen to What’s-His-Name!...

So the family takes a vacation this week to Disney (no escaping it for me) and one of the highlights is the "Alladin" stage production. really pretty cool. At one point, just after Jafar (the bad guy) captures the magic lamp, Genie says: "Hey, Jafar, why are you so angry looking? Why the long face? I mean, I just made you Sultan, and you didn't even earn it!... What do you want next, a NOBEL PEACE PRIZE?"The place erupted. The crowd definitely "got it" and we were laughing so hard (this is what, 2000 people?) that they delayed the next...

I Snapped this picture today in a very small town near my own in north central Oklahoma. The sales pitch is simply brilliant, and I just had to share. Please caption, comment, photoshop, or come up with your own funny "You know Your a Redneck when..." line.

Editorial cartoon, Augusta GA Chronicle.

Imagine an onion ring that's so big you could fit the planet Earth inside it - 1 billion times! Well, according to scientists, that's the size of the previously unknown ring that's just been discovered around the planet Saturn. Only the scientists say this ring is made up of dust and ice particles - not onions. "This is one super-sized ring," said University of Virginia astronomer Anne Verbiscer. It's been approximately 400 years since the legendary astronomer Galileo first identified the rings around Saturn. So why are scientists discovering this new ring only now? The reason, they say, is that...

Like his art? Let him know: larryart@insightbb.comThanks again Larry, keep up the great work!

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines. 3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. 4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real...

French Army Fools Test New Anti-Tank Missile. Great Video. Click link.

Opie is extremely picky about who he takes his treats from. YouTube Video

BBC News anchor fails to pause with an amusing outcome... Click Here

LETTER FROM THE BOSS: As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have...

OUR CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW WE HELPED AFTER KATRINA by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY by Bill Clinton MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by Osama Bin Laden THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY by Dennis Rodman THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE by Al Gore & John Kerry THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES...

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters. (9) Directions to your doctor’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. (7) The only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. (6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is “an apple a day.” (5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. (4) “The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges,” is not a typographical error. (3) The only expense covered 100% is “embalming.” (2) Your Prozac comes...

There's a virtual reality helmet that provides the wearer a liberal perspective on life. How does it work? It's a simple process really... NOTE: The author of this comic requests that you visit his web site and please refrain from copying the cartoon within this thread. Thanks!

Grandma Got Her Plug Pulled By Obama a parody of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo & Patsy Grandma got her plug pulled by Obama Socialized health care kills for free You can say freedom's in a coma Crazy eugenicists kill with glee. She'd had to wait for a doctor Her condition was touch and go But she'd gotten bad medication And drifted off this world to parts unknown When they checked her the next mornin' All her vitals had gone flat There was proof that she was braindead And eliminatin' old folks was on track Grandma...

Not sure how to post this here. But here is the link: http://www.notoriouslyconservative.com/2009/08/gun-recoil-nails-moron-in-face.html

Mrs. Ozella McHargue of St. John, Ind. Was a lady with real holiday spirit, even after her spirit had left her body. When she passed away, she treated her family and guests to a holly Jolly funeral. McHargue came up with the idea after being diagnosed with cancer. She said she didn’t want depressing organ music at her funeral - she wanted songs like “Silver Bells” and “Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer.” She got her wish. The funeral home was decked with holly, wreaths, mistletoe, poinsettias and a Christmas tree decorated with ornaments from friends and family. McHargue was placed...

This is from an e-mail I recieved, I did not write it myself: American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile...

WASHINGTON -- President Barack Obama was arrested for DUI this afternoon after taking a Harvard professor and a Cambridge police officer on a harrowing barhopping tour and subsequent high-speed police chase through the city. What started as a beer picnic outside the Oval Office to clear the air over the president’s embarrassing comments last week after the arrest of Harvard’s Henry Louis Gates turned ugly, when the president, having quaffed one Bud Light and four plastic bottles of water in 15 minutes, stole a Secret Service SUV and demanded Gates and Sgt. James Crowley continue their party throughout the District...

A 78-year-old Carroll woman says she's so tired of seeing President Barack Obama on the airwaves that she's selling her television sets - two of them. Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses' aide and former Kmart employee who was raised on a farm near Audubon, placed a classified advertisement with The Daily Times Herald for Friday's paper. In the $5.50 ad, Nissen tells readers she has two television sets for sale. The reason: "Obama on every channel and station."In an interview Nissen said she is serious about selling two TVs - and genuine about her disgust with what she believes to...

Hillary's terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day And Hillary Clinton thought she was having a bad day when she broke her elbow ... Today, a meeting of Asian leaders in Thailand turned into the set of "Mean Girls": North Korea called the Secretary of State a "funny lady" who "looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a pensioner going shopping." Ouch. To be fair, Clinton stirred it up earlier this week when she compared North Korea to "unruly teenagers."

NORTH Korea has hit back at comments by US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, describing her in an unusually personal attack as not intelligent and a "funny lady". A foreign ministry spokesman quoted by the communist state's official news agency accused Clinton of making "a spate of vulgar remarks unbecoming for her position everywhere she went since she was sworn in". "We cannot but regard Mrs Clinton as a funny lady as she likes to utter such rhetoric, unaware of the elementary etiquette in the international community," the spokesman said. "Sometimes she looks like a primary schoolgirl and sometimes a...

A Missouri car dealer is giving away vouchers for a free AK-47 assault rifle with the purchase of a pickup truck.

Politicians and others speeches put to music - Hilarious

http://www.reddit.com/tb/91e7rMake sure you bump it and spread the love on reddit!

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. All the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he had decided to be different...again. Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.' The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?' Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.' The teacher asked him why he was a Republican. Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.' Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron and...

Obama hits head on White House door Politico Friday, 3 July 2009, 8:01 am He used walking into the door as an excuse for his inability to articulate his "raising taxes is good" message to the American people: President Obama acknowledged the disappointing jobs report at the White House, but quickly urged Americans to be patient as the country waits for the economy to improve. "As I've said from the moment I walked into the door of this White House, it took years for us to get into this mess and it will take us more than a few months...

The Smart Car What we will be forced to drive quite soon, with all the crazy enviromental regulations being proposed and passed. But look at all of the 'great new choices' we will have from 'The SMART Car': The Smorvette! The Smaudi A3 AWD! The Smamborghini! The Smorsche! The Smerrari! And last, but not least, The Smustang!

We all need friends; this is an animated video with humor!

If you are interested in probably the only conservative animated cartoon on the web, you have to check this out.

It has now been confirmed that President Obama will have an audience with Pope Benedict XVI on July 10th. In preparation for the momentous visit, the crack White House protocol office has sent the President a list of gifts to choose from. After a series of embarrassing gaffes surrounding wildly inappropriate and narcissistic gifts given to heads of State, the President is determined to get this one right. These are the gifts that Obama has settled on. Digital Photo frame with pictures from the Obamas' date night in NYCContinue Reading >>>>

So funny. It'd be funnier if it weren't so true. If you don't get the parody, click here to watch a clip of the "I'm not dead yet" scene. For more something for substantive, but not as funny, take an international tour of wait times in countries with socialized medicine. And the good news is that the soon-to-be proposed public plan will only cost $4 trillion over the next 10 years. The current health care "reforms" would be the ultimate lose-lose — destroy the greatest system of health care and medical advancement in the world while putting us trillions more...

I heard this country song and couldn't help but think of how greate this would be as a parody for Husein Obama. Rush always says that the libs and demoncrats, and the media..... don't know what Obama is saying but just like the way that he says it. Blaine Larsen : I Don't Know What She Said Lyrics Songwriters: Blazy, Kent; Turner, Lane; Batten, Cory "No ablo Espannol" Was all I knew of the local lingo. That old pocket guide to Mexico, Wasn't much help to this out of place Gringo. When I checked into my motel room, Was helped...

I got this in an e-mail the other day. This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a Southern US town, between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church, and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church. From top to bottom shows you the response and counter-response over time.

I don't know what they are taping onto the hammers, it just looks like chalk to me, but there is obviously more. The video is on site

You have to see this picture. Don't have time to embed it, but click the link. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2loqh_dRGgc/Sij2FsVwsQI/AAAAAAAAAAw/Ea9jywq_dXI/s1600-h/rhinocrist.jpg

A picture is worth a thousand words. Pictures can be found here: http://www.notoriouslyconservative.com/2009/06/when-you-rest-shotgun-on-your-foot-dont.html

Also check out "Crazy Obama Products - A Photo Collection"

I happened upon IT Crowd quite by accident one evening. While I was perusing my Netflix que, I saw a program that was recommended to me becase of my recent selections. I saw that IT Crowd was instant play so I gave it a try and have been hooked since. I absolutely love Moss, Roy and Jan. Jan applies at a job at Reynholm. The interviewer says I see you have computer experience on your resume. Jan replies indeed, I send email, i delete email, i receive email. I know about the mouse, the screen, etc. And he makes her...

Find more great stuff on site www.notoriouslyconservative.com

http://www.notoriouslyconservative.com/2009/05/brokeback-obama.html Also make sure to check out: Taxes Aren't the Only Way the Government Gives You the Old Shaft

Thought this was funny.

The funniest part is, I can totally see someone inventing these, and pushing them as a green alternative. Funny, funny stuff. Must watch. Video on site http://www.notoriouslyconservative.com/2009/05/edible-diapers-commercial-snl.html

That's just low. Here's the winner of a local dog look-alike contest... Now that you mention it...

The first couple took full advantage of the cool spring night. After a date night out on Saturday evening, President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama decided to take a stroll when their motorcade arrived back at the White House. So they began walking on the driveway of the White House South Lawn while holding hands. First they passed the West Wing, then their children's swing set. They kept walking, swinging their hands together. There were no Secret Service agents right behind them - the agents stood off... (read the story for more) As the Obamas walked behind shrubbery...

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.