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Keyword: funny

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  • Angel Outside Trump’s Empty Safe Tells FBI Agents, 'Behold! The Document You Seek Is Not Here!'

    08/12/2022 6:32:13 PM PDT · by Tolerance Sucks Rocks · 20 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | August 11, 2022 | The Babylon Bee
    MAR-A-LAGO, FL — New reports from Mar-a-Lago indicate that during Monday's raid, FBI agents searching the house ran quickly to see the safe only to find it empty with an angel of the Lord standing beside it. According to eyewitnesses, the FBI agents trembled and became as dead men. "Do not be afraid!" began the glowing angel, gesturing to the open and empty vault. "I know that you seek the classified documents taken by Trump. But behold! The Documents you seek are not here!" The agents drew their weapons and fired on the angel, but the bullets passed through the...
  • ‘Queer agender’ feminist physicist still cheesed at ‘homophobic’ NASA telescope

    07/17/2022 6:17:48 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 63 replies
    The College Fix ^ | 07/16/2022 | Dave Huber
    As NASA’s new James Webb Space Telescope is sending back its first remarkable images of our universe, “queer agender” feminist physicist Chanda Prescod-Weinstein wants you to know she remains miffed at the telescope’s moniker. Late last year, the University of New Hampshire professor and three other scientists demanded NASA ditch Webb’s name from the project due to his alleged homophobia. Prior to Webb’s appointment as head of NASA in 1961, he allegedly played a role in the so-called “Lavender Scare” as a State Department official. In response to a petition started by Prescod-Weinstein et. al., NASA investigated the issue last...
  • Tyrus: This is uncomfortable (chimp doctor gives medical advice)

    06/20/2022 4:16:28 PM PDT · by Eleutheria5 · 15 replies
    FNC ^ | 17/6/22 | Greg Gutfeld
    ‘Gutfeld!’ guests react to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention raising the monkeypox alert to level two after its handling of coronavirus.
  • The Great Tampon Shortage of 2022: The Supply Chain Problem No One’s Talking About

    06/16/2022 5:30:36 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 73 replies
    Yahoo News ^ | 06/09/2022 | Alana Samuels
    Sometimes when I am grocery shopping, even if I am there just for broccoli, I’ll swing by the aisle where they stock feminine products. Because, even though most of the things that disappeared during the pandemic like toilet paper, yeast, and flour have returned to the shelves, tampons are still in short supply. It’s become a strange fascination of mine, to see the large gap on the shelf, like a missing front tooth, where tampons are supposed to be. In the last few months, I’ve visited stores in New York, Massachusetts, and California—no tampons. And it’s not just me. Dana...
  • Ex-NYC mayor Bill de Blasio says he's running for Congress

    05/20/2022 10:44:32 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 12 replies
    CBS News ^ | 05/20/2022 | Kathryn Watson
    Former New York Mayor Bill de Blasio is running for Congress, he announced Friday morning on MSNBC's "Morning Joe." De Blasio, a 61-year-old Democrat who served as New York City mayor from 2014 to 2021, will run in New York's newly drawn 10th Congressional District. "Joe, the polls show people are hurting. They need help," de Blasio told MSNBC's Joe Scarborough. "They need help fast. And they need leaders who can actually get them help now and know how to do it. I do know how to do it from years of serving the people of this city. And so...
  • How can white men possibly (and enthusiastically) support the Democrat Party?

    05/13/2022 10:26:16 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 81 replies
    05/13/22 | Me
    I'm baffled by men, particularly white men, who enthusiastically support the most extreme politicians from the unhinged Democrat Party.Is there any platform that this party offers that actually benefits white men? Or are Democrat-supporting white men just sadomasochists? A severe case of cognitive dissonance?
  • Will the crazy left implement forced vasectomies on Republican men in retaliation against pro-life policy?

    05/04/2022 8:51:21 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 46 replies
    5/4/2022 | Me
    I'm watching the insane, radical feminist left go bonkers knowing that there is a possibility that fewer unborn children will get slaughtered in the womb.I just saw a video of Fauxcahontas kicking garden shrubs and yelling in her shrill war-path tone about the 'assault on women's rights'.We're all too familiar with the retaliatory nature of the unhinged left; I'm beginning to worry that more and more of these radicals will support forced institutionalization of Republican men across the country. On top of that, I can see a massive effort to force vasectomies on Republican men. The left thinks pro-life policy...
  • Group of teens terrorizing people in Boston strikes again

    04/29/2022 5:03:50 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 42 replies
    WFXT Boston ^ | 04/29/2022 | Kelly Sullivan
    The group of teens attacking people for no reason strikes again. This time it happened on the Boston Common. According to a police report, two Suffolk University students were attacked when they were trying to intervene and stop a woman from being harassed by the juveniles. This latest attack happened around 6:30 Wednesday evening. The students told police they were walking toward the Earl of Sandwich when they saw five teens start to harass a woman with her child. A juvenile female, who police say seems to be the instigator, starts shouting things at the woman. Then according to the...
  • MSNBC, ABC Claim Elon Musk Wants To See Abuse Of Women, Jews And Return To Apartheid

    04/28/2022 10:05:03 AM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 66 replies
    Summit News ^ | April 27, 2022 | Steve Watson
    Amid the meltdown of leftists canceling themselves following Elon Musk’s Twitter takeover, the most extreme reactions came from the likes of MSNBC’s Joy Reid and ABC’s The View, where it was declared that Musk is a white supremacist who wants to see the return of segregation, as well as abuse of Jewish people and rampant misogyny against women. Perpetual race grifter Reid proclaimed that Musk “misses the old South Africa in the 80s. He wants that back,” adding “Elon Musk’s companies have a history of open racism.” She also charged that Musk’s “idea of freedom means freedom to be a...
  • I wanted my son to reject masculine stereotypes. Then he fell in love with tractors

    04/25/2022 12:15:15 PM PDT · by millenial4freedom · 117 replies
    MSN ^ | 04/21/2022 | Jay Deitcher
    After turning 2 years old, my son, Avishai, started demanding that he only wear tractor shirts, and my mind spiraled into darkness. I catastrophized worst-case scenarios, imagining a world where he fell for everything stereotypically manly. I envisioned him on a football field, barreling through mega-muscled opponents. Imagined him waxing a sports car on a warm summer day. I have always judged other guys who seemed boxed in by masculinity, but 3 ½ years ago, when I became a stay-at-home dad, my bias skyrocketed. My son was born in Albany, New York, on the bedroom floor of the apartment I...
  • Norm MacDonald on Conan w/ Courtney Thorne Smith (laugh riot)

    04/23/2022 4:57:22 PM PDT · by FLNittany · 18 replies
    yousetube ^ | whenever | conan o'brien
    My God this guy was funny. When asked about this appearance later, he didn't remember doing it. That makes it even funnier.
  • WATCH: Steven Crowder RIPS Jon Stewart’s Climate Elitism

    03/24/2022 5:59:50 AM PDT · by jeff_clark · 9 replies
    Media Research Center ^ | 3/21/22 | Jeffrey Clark
    Political commentator Steven Crowder tore former Daily Show host and multimillionaire Jon Stewart apart for preaching environmental progress but downplaying the cost — the livelihoods of working people.
  • Genius moment…

    02/22/2022 1:01:01 PM PST · by Tench_Coxe · 19 replies
  • Ark's Cathie Wood warns investors they're making one of the greatest misallocations of capital in history

    02/21/2022 6:21:07 AM PST · by millenial4freedom · 43 replies
    msn ^ | 02/17/2022 | Hamza Fareed Malik
    Cathie Wood said investors are making a mistake by piling into index funds. Companies that have prospered in the past are often ripe for disruption, the Ark Invest boss said. The tech-stock guru said it's riskier to own benchmarks than Ark's funds. Cathie Wood said risk-averse investors and fund managers are putting money in companies and benchmarks based on past successes, instead of betting on innovative companies. "We have, I think, one of the most massive misallocations of capital in the history of mankind. You have investors investing in the past," the CEO and CIO of Ark Invest said in...
  • Why Do Some Eggs Have Two Yolks?

    02/17/2022 11:43:01 AM PST · by millenial4freedom · 50 replies
    Sauger's Eggs ^ | 07/12/2019
    DOUBLE YOLKS EXPLAINED Female chickens — hens — are born with two ovaries, just like humans. As the chick matures into an adult hen, her right ovary shrivels up, leaving her left ovary to handle the task of producing and releasing eggs. When we refer to the eggs that come from a hen’s ovaries, we aren’t talking about the shell and whites. We’re only talking about the round yellow part we know as “yolks.” The other stuff — what we know as a complete egg — comes later in the process.When it works as it should, the whole process is...
  • 101 Short Jokes

    02/02/2022 7:39:12 AM PST · by jcon40 · 19 replies
    Readers Digest ^ | Jan 18th, 2022 | Don’t know
    Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. What type of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad!
  • A Little Covid Humor

    01/24/2022 4:59:41 AM PST · by JoanSmith · 2 replies
    YouTube ^ | January 8, 2022 | Michael Farley
    A little covid humor https://youtu.be/2RYRQsgXgGo
  • Trump Fans Excited To Vote For The Guy Who Fast-Tracked Vaccines And Hired Fauci

    01/18/2022 4:35:41 PM PST · by Pollard · 80 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 1/18/22
    U.S.—Fans of former president Donald J. Trump are chomping at the bit to once again vote for the guy who fast-tracked vaccines and appointed Dr. Anthony Fauci to the Coronavirus Task Force. "Trump was by far our greatest president. Even better than James Madison!" said local deplorable Nathan Nebulous. "Everything was great under Trump until that deadly virus changed the face of the entire earth overnight and ruined everything. But he was so good at owning the libs!" Sean Hannity, a popular conservative pundit, announced his continued support of Trump on his radio program. "Sure, the vaccines don't seem to...
  • Preview of the FOMC meeting with Jerome Powell

    12/15/2021 7:55:36 AM PST · by millenial4freedom · 1 replies
    Twitter | 12/15/2021
    Live pic from inside the FOMC meeting. Decision expected at 2:00PM EST. Stay tuned pic.twitter.com/YSU9XCR6ec— Not Jerome Powell (@alifarhat79) December 15, 2021
  • What is toxic masculinity and how can it be addressed?

    11/29/2021 12:44:45 PM PST · by millenial4freedom · 128 replies
    Yahoo! News ^ | 11/25/21 | Sabrina Barr and Saman Javed
    Men need to “shut up and listen” to women if they want to address toxic masculinity, actor Benedict Cumberbatch has said. In a new interview with Sky News following the release of Power Of The Dog, in which Cumberbatch plays a wealthy ranch owner in 1920s Montana, US, he said there is currently not enough recognition of the advantages men have over women in society today. “There is not enough recognition of abuse, there’s not enough recognition of disadvantages,” he said.