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Clinton Apologizes for “People’s Confusion about My Emails” [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 5 Sep 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 09/06/2015 9:50:29 AM PDT by John Semmens

In yet another attempt to dampen the negative implications emanating from her 2009 decision to use a private email account for official State Department business, Democratic presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she was “sorry that people are so confused by the issue.”

Clinton acknowledged that “the decision was not well thought out. I didn’t stop to think about the potential downside of using an unsecured network for the highly confidential messages my work would entail. I was too eager to dive into the much more important business of resolving the diplomatic mess left behind by the outgoing Bush Administration.”

The presidential candidate then sought to clarify matters “for voters who have been misled by Republican efforts to use this complex situation for political advantage. My decision to use a private account for public business was not an unusual one. While it may not have been in accord with statutory law, it was a common practice authorized by President Obama and was widely used within the Administration. That I am being singled out for scrutiny is a desperate ploy by the GOP to try to block my ascension to the presidency.”

While admitting that her private email account may have been hacked (this week a private hacker offered Mrs. Clinton’s 30,000 emails for sale with a $500,000 price tag), she contended that “continued prying into this past history risks exposing vital secrets to our more dangerous enemies—not the Chinese, Russians, or even the Islamic State—but the right-wing elements who have a realistic chance of undoing the progressive reforms of President Obama that my election in 2016 would preserve and build upon.”

In related news, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump’s speculation that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s personal aide Huma Abedin may have shared her classified emails with her husband—Anthony Weiner—was labeled “absurd” by the former congressman. “These are not the kind of emails my wife and I send to each other,” Weiner said. “Anyone who knows me and knows my history with emails and sexts also knows I have no interest in such matters. Huma would never send me boring memos on ISIS or Russia. She knows my taste runs more toward the erotic.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2015/09/05/democrat-says-drop-benghazi-investigation/


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: emails; hillary; huma; satire

1 posted on 09/06/2015 9:50:29 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
AFTER what you have done in your life, Hillary, I would NEVER accept anything from you, your a scuzzy b-i-otch!!!

Hillary for PRISON....NOW!!!

2 posted on 09/06/2015 9:53:28 AM PDT by HarleyLady27 ("It's the hard working, tax paying citizens of the United States that are suffering..."Go TRUMP 2016)
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To: John Semmens

Hillary can express regret or whatever about all of this, but she has still not fully explained all of this.

I think the reason is because the Clintons parse words, and speak in lawyer-ese, when confronted with difficult situations.

Her problem is that, she and people around her could be facing criminal prosecution. So she has to huddle with the likes of Lanny Davis and David Kendall, attorneys, to determine exactly what words to use, so that she can be said to have been telling the truth, based on the parsing of the language.


3 posted on 09/06/2015 9:59:20 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: John Semmens

Now that the obligatory “satire” handle has to be put on these they’re not, unfortunately, nearly as “potent.” I used to dive into these posts with a full head of anger or alarm only to find out it was a joke - and the joke was partly on me - then I’d laugh my head off and feel foolish. Still funny but the “stupid feeling” no longer creeps over me as in the past. Keep up the good work John!


4 posted on 09/06/2015 10:07:06 AM PDT by Lake Living
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To: Lake Living
Lake Living said: "Now that the obligatory “satire” handle has to be put on these ..."

Why not suggest that individual users can configure their own web page to display the obligatory warning or not?

5 posted on 09/06/2015 10:21:29 AM PDT by William Tell
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