Posted on 04/15/2016 4:22:09 PM PDT by John Semmens
In a move authorities hope will reduce the frequency of sexual assault by Muslim immigrants, the portrayal of sausages and "scantily clad" women (i.e., those without headscarves) in advertisements will be banned.
German Justice Minister Heiko Maas said "the action is a common sense measure designed to protect our citizens from rape and molestation by those from a different culture. In interrogation after interrogation, offenders from Asia and Africa have professed themselves to be irresistibly driven to attack women shortly after viewing ads in which 'uncovered women' or 'uncovered sausages' have been shown. Rather than futilely expecting immigrants to adapt to our norms, we deem it prudent to ban the instigating images."
Chancellor Angela Merkel characterized the measure as "a comprise between a rigid devotion to an oppressive policy of imposing German values on our foreign residents and a total implementation of sharia law. The surest way for women to avoid sexual assault is to not go out in public alone or inadequately garbed. Compared to this severe tactic, eliminating the visual stimulation of sausages and bare-faced females from our advertising spaces is relatively liberal and minimally constraining."
Merkel categorically rejected arguments that "Germany shouldn't have to bow to alien perceptions. How can we teach liberal values if we don't show tolerance for the values of our foreign-born inhabitants? If we remove some of the provocations maybe the rapes will ease up. As the more civilized society isn't it our duty to offer the first concession? Perhaps our generosity will inspire an in-kind response."
In related news, 26-year-old Syrian refugee Iman Ashat set fire to a Sponsheim district hotel because "these German kafirs are disrespecting my superior status by providing substandard accommodations. Allah has said in the Quran that unbelievers must serve the umma." Ashat has been living in the hotel at government expense since he arrived. "It's deficiency," according to him, "is that it's just a single room. Others at this hotel have suites and they're not even Muslim. This injustice is intolerable."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/195140-2016-04-15-semi-news-semi-satire-april-17-2016-edition.htm
OR
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=202415.new#new
ping
Iman Ashat! LOL!
What would Bill Clinton do?
I agree: you have reached a new level with “Iman Ashat”!!
Baby please, 10 is my limit on Shnitzengruben in the morning!
Next they will outlaw sausages in sexy females.
That’s when the real riots will begin, they will have gone too far.
What would Huma Weiner do?
Anybody but her husband?
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