Cracker Jack Changes Name To More Politically Correct Caucasian Jack

Babylon Bee ^ | 06/17/2020

[DFG]

When ballparks finally open again, those standing for the traditional seventh-inning stretch will be singing some different lyrics to "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."

After over 100 years of selling its caramel popcorn snack under the name Cracker Jack, Frito-Lay announced today that it would be rebranded as the less offensive "Caucasian Jack."

"We are very sorry to all the crack---er, I mean, Caucasians we have hurt over the years," said a spokesperson. "Cracker is an offensive stereotype, and we must make sure that all foods and snack products are culturally sensitive. Think about all the white people who have had to suffer in silence as tens of thousands of baseball fans sang out the hurtful lyrics 'Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.'"

"No more. The bigotry stops today."

The move was applauded by hurt white people, though they are still criticizing Frito-Lay for how pale and pasty-white the Cracker Jack guy is on the logo.

[GreenHornet]

Can we start a class action suit against the White Sox? They have made a mockery of our skin color long enough.

I think people of Scandinavian ancestry should be outraged that Minnesota calls its football team the "Vikings." Also, those of Irish heritage should demand that University of Notre Dame change the name of its team from the "Fighting Irish" to something less culturally insensitive. And then there's the Boston Celtics....

[House Atreides]

What about QUAKER OATS? I’m tired of the religious bigotry! /sarc

[combat_boots]

Kids are not taught the black/red difference

Accounting will have to change colors

[CrashCole]

I had a White high school classmate named John Brown. Also, had an African American roommate in college named John White. What to do? Life has become SO confusing!

[OrangeHoof]

What about "Cheese Nips"? Short, slanty-eyed little crackers.

[Brown Deer]