Posted on 03/05/2005 10:25:10 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight and advice to Northerners moving South.
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it shortly.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
5. Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you, either.
8. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol", as in "big ol truck", or "big ol boy". "Fixin'", as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store", is 2nd. And "Y'all" is 3rd.
9. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!", stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.
11. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was purchased.
12. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
13. The wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until December.
14. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store. It is just something you're supposed to do.
15. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be prominently displayed.
GRITS ---- Girls Raised In The South
I like it!
True story.
free dixie,sw
one lovely Pine Bluff,AR belle for SURE. (fyi, i've just loved her for about 39 years & she still grows on me daily.)
free dixie,sw
Honey, I don't know what y'all are talkin' 'bout. I am a Southern girl and I hate gravy, grits, biscuits (except the canned ones), brown beans, and okra. However, if all y'all git a chancet, try them there deep fried dill pickles. Ther delicious. I git'em whenever I can and damn (correct pronunciation: Day-um) if I cain't stop eatin'em 'til they're all gone. Jist thinkin' 'bout it makes me hongry nuff to eat the north side of a south-bound goose.
All y'all take care.
I love biscuits but I can't make them.
Mamma used to measure everything in her hand and they always came out perfect.
I have tried and tried and the only thing I make is rocks. My husband says , it ain't fair to throw em to the birds, makes it to easy for cats to catch 'em.
Pilsbury in a can for me.
The trick is to barely mix it, put everything in the bowl and when it's moist then it's mixed. Overworking it makes it tough and turns into rocks...which we have been known to keep for throwing at folks who get silly.
I always heard it as, "Hold my beer and watch this!"
I generally try to avoid travel above the Mason Dixon line.
They seem to think I speak a foreign language.
"The worst thing about my trip up north was I couldn't find sweet tea anywhere."
I am from Georgia and I married a Nebraskan. My parents came up to visit me in Omaha and my mother ordered sweet tea in a restaraunt and got the funniest looks.
"I love biscuits but I can't make them."
My grandmother (who is from Arkansas) makes homemade biscuits and CHOCOLATE "gravy" for breakfast!
I know it sounds gross, but it's very very good.
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