Love is ... not picking your nose and burping (rift prevention)

Scotsman ^ | 5/16/05 | Ed Black

[pissant]

me too. ;o)

[pissant]

Thinkin of ya PING

[Hi Heels]

One who spent the day at work? Just like you? Then ran the kids to soccer, ballet, karate, choir, market, laundry?

I'd make you take me out for dinner. Steaks and margaritas.

[pissant]

I'd gladly oblidge....



if you wear your hot shoes..

[CSM]

Sure, blame it on the old man! I can't stop laughing at your story!

[Hi Heels]

Hey, PA! I KNEW it had to be you before I even opened the post!! HAHAHahahaa...

[missyme]

What is fart gas made of?

The composition of fart gas is highly variable.

Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.

But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.

The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of boring, inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.

A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts, because his body didn't have time to absorb the oxygen.

[CSM]

"But, he does "cropdust" in stores on a regular basis. (Truth to tell, so do I)."

One more reason added to my list of reasons to leave this socialist paradise state! I hope I don't run into you at any stores.

[pissant]

Oy! Thanks for sharing. NOT!

[pissant]

I feel so naked now....

[R. Scott]

• Failing to control flatulence.

This is the only mistake I ever made in my marriage. Not, me actually – but casually mentioning to my new bride, “WOW! You never fart!”.
From that moment on she never tried to hide them.

[missyme]

It's true he really did fart one me! I would not do that if I was going to I would of ran to the parking lot!

[pissant]

As long as they are not aimed at your head while tying your shoe!

[R. Scott]

What kind of wife makes you a TV dinner anyhow?

Some wives under 40?

[CSM]

Well, you did say you had to leave the store. Hmm, something about this story doesn't smell right! ;-)

[R. Scott]

I get "Honey, does this look alright?"

“Does this make me look fat?”
Never from my wife, but often from my daughter. I would always answer, “No, THAT doesn’t make you look fat."
Eventually she quit asking me.

[pissant]

Most wives under 40, you would prefer a Swansons TV dinner to her cooking!

[R. Scott]

I have always been the better cook. My mother once told me that if I wanted to have something good for dinner, I should learn to cook it myself.
I have had a few dry spells when I had no woman living with me. I never developed a fondness for fast food. I also never had to break down and marry the first woman who could cook.

[missyme]

HAHA..Maybe you were the one in the store that day! LOL...

[BobS]

"Silent Farts Smell so you cannot determine who it is in a public place..."

Stewardesses call it "cropdusting".